The War Within
by ChaosreigN
Summary: It's a bloody war between three kingdoms, one of light, one of dark, and one hidden in the twilight. The story will follow a character of my own invention as she wars with her creation as well as budding feelings of love and mistrust.
1. Chapter 0

I stood in the shadows, where it was safe. I knew well what would happen if I let myself be known. I watched my brothers attack the enemy village, envious of the sustenance they would get from devouring the hearts of the citizens, but I was not here to feed, only observe. Diz had hoped for this raid, and that meant that Lord Xehanort too was hoping for it to be a success. I watched on as heart after heart was consumed, almost believing we would do it this time.

But alas, it was not to be.

The light of a summoned keyblade drew my attention and I sighed, sinking back into the darkness. Failure once more. To our credit, it took them longer to respond this time. I frowned, surrounded by the darkness. Diz would not like this. I closed my eyes and imagined his laboratory, hidden deep within Hallow Bastion. Once I opened my eyes I stood in a dark, unlit corner in the lab, kept that way strickly for my use.

Diz created me, and kept my appearance a secret from Master Xehanort. It was a risky thing to do, but he said it was necessary, so I comply with his rules. After all, he is my master. Diz stood in the center of the room, examining charts and files that were spread over a large desk.

"Well, Lucerna?" He asked without looking up. I straightened up, though he was not looking at me. His face was hidden behind a red scarf that was wrapped around his head, leaving his facial features hidden. It was difficult to tell how he felt at any given moment.

"They responded, but a sufficient amount of hearts were devoured. Their citizens still live in fear of Master Xehanort's might." my voice was hoarse from misuse. Diz is the only one I speak to, and rarely does this happen.

"Master Xehanort shall be somewhat pleased." I could hear a frown in his voice. "Thank you, Lucerna. You are done for the day." I nodded, though he could not see me. As I was about to sink into the darkness to return to my safe-haven a unceremonious knock on the door drew my attention. I hesitated as a man in a mask walked in, followed by Xehanort himself. The master was old, with less hair on his head than on his face. All of it was snow white, and his eyes held the cold, emotionless yellow of the heartless. He turned to Diz, who shut the folder he was looking at.

"The boy is ready for his check up," Xehanort said, looking around the room. The boy did not move as Diz stepped closer.

"My spy has brought back intel on the raid. It seems enough hearts were devoured to keep you in their nightmares." Xehanort laughed at this, but it was cold.

"I will want to meet this spy of yours, Diz." The Master said as the boy in the mask tilted his head. He was facing my direction, looking straight at me.

"It is not ready for human contact."

"Ah yes, that's right, it is one of your many… experiments." Xehanort smiled and I backed deeper into the darkness. The boy tilted his head again. I wondered what went on through his head behind that mask, but decided it was best to leave before anything happened. I would rather not see his face. He must wear that mask for a reason. I closed my eyes in the familiar coolness of the darkness and imagined my garden, hidden on the outskirts of the castle.

I opened my eyes to see it was undisturbed. The ceiling was made of intertwining branches that let barely any light in. It was appropriate for a creature of darkness, as Diz told me when he first brought me here. I was much smaller then, only reaching to his hip with the very tip of my head. I looked down at my body and frowned at my pale skin and tattered clothing. Thin white scars criss-crossed my skin, the only hint to my creation. Diz refused to tell me how I was created, but one of my first memories was of pain and blood.

I shook my head, letting my dark hair fall in front of my face as I made my way to the small pond in the center of the garden. I ignored my reflection, and instead focused on the town that was recently raided. The water on the surface began to ripple until the image became clear. Few heartless were left, but the fact that any were left meant that their forces were not as well trained as they like their people to believe. I order what few heartless were left to stay in the shadows and spawn more. I was sure master Xehanort would want this village attacked again, and a fresh supply of heartless, along with existing heartless, would give us a helpful advantage.

I watched the people scurry around for an hour, trying to pull their lives back together. Often I thought of what it would be like to be them. To feel the fear of a raid and lose someone close to me. Unfortunately I felt little to nothing while small children cried next to the corpses of their fallen family and friends. Luckily for me, Diz created me without emotions, though at times I can feel something inside of me pulling to feel something towards these creatures.

I shook my head again and the pond returned to normal, reflecting what dim sunlight could make it's way through the branches about my head. I turned away and practiced the facial expression Diz wanted me to practice. He was trying to make me look more human, though he never told me why. He never tells me anything.

Why doesn't he tell me anything?

'Because you don't need to know in order to do your job,' I answered myself, frowning. This facial expression was almost natural to me now. Smiling was still difficult, and the expression felt stiff on my face.

-Come-

Diz called and my body responded, falling into the darkness without me having to consciously think of the action. His call would bring me wherever he needed me to go. I was expecting to go back to the Lab, but instead I was brought to a dark corner of the library, a place I was rarely allowed to see because it was always so full of people.

"Yes, Master Diz?" I asked, bowing formally to him. There was enough light here for him to see me, and this caused an odd reaction from him.

"I'm sorry Lucerna, but I'm going to have to do something you're not going to like," He stood from his desk and handed me a piece of paper. I did not look at it, instead I kept my eyes forward facing. I was struck hard in the stomach and in a very vital area at the base of my neck.

I was out before I hit the floor.


	2. Chapter 1

I awoke with a pounding headache and a blinding white light shining over my naked body. I sat up too quickly, my stomach rolling. When was the last time I ate? I sat there in silence as I tried to think back and found… nothing. There was no memory of anything past waking up on this extremely cold table. I looked around the room to find it empty.  
I slid my frail body off of the table and searched the room for clothing. There was a small dress with under-clothing in a drawer near the door and a pair a slippers underneath a table nearby. I began slipping the under garments on as the door opened and a young woman with bright blue hair, and even bluer eyes, walked in. She froze, startled by me.

"You're awake." She said, at a loss for words. I frowned.

"I wasn't going to sleep forever." I mumbled, my voice hoarse. The girl shook her head and smiled.

"No, I mean, good. You're awake." She closed the door and looked me over as I continued putting the clothes on. My hair felt too light as I pulled the dress over my head.

'Well how heavy is it suppose to feel?' I asked myself mentally and shook my head.

"My name is Aqua," The girl said, her smile fading a bit.

"I don't remember my name." I said a little too loud. Have I always been this socially awkward.

"Diz said you wouldn't remember much. He found you outside in the snow with a letter clutched in your hand." A frown touched the girl's face, and it looked like it didn't belong against the soft features that dominated her. She was taller than me, but still small.

"What did the note say?'

"That you escaped a raid from the kingdom to the east and that you were seeking refuge here. Normally the master doesn't take in refugees, but Diz got you in." Every time she said that name something pulled inside of me, but I couldn't grasp it before it slipped away again.

"Was that all it said?"

"I'm afraid so." She shook her head. "I've been put in charge of keeping an eye on you. The master says you can stay as long as you work. We've been short staffed recently so you'll be working as a maid."

"Is that what you do?'

"No," the girls face became grim and something like a shadow passed over her features. "I'm a soldier in a war that's been going on since before I was born." She looked up at me. "The same war you were running from." I nodded.

"Thank you, Aqua." I said, forcing my voice to be soft. My throat felt dry and my voice cracked on her name.

"There's no need for thanks, but we should probably make our way down to the kitchen. If we don't hurry our food will get cold." She rocked back on her feet as I pulled the slippers onto my feet. She looked me over once more, a frown appearing on her face. "It looks like it's been ages since you last ate."

"It feels that way," I looked down at my body, suddenly ashamed of my lack of figure in comparison to this strong female.

"That's fine," She opened the door and smiled once again. "Our food has a habit of fattening people up." I nodded, following her out of the cold room and into a warm, hallway. She walked slow so I could keep up with her, but I found that I was worn out before I even made it to the stairs leading down to the main floor.

"Are you alright?" She asked as I leaned on the banister catching my breath. I attempted to answer, but was too busy wheezing to get a word out. Without warning a man bumped into me, almost causing me to fall over. He passed by without pause, not even bothering to look at me. I guess it wouldn't really matter if he did because his face was covered by a full head mask that seemed to be seamlessly connected to the armor he wore. Aqua stood very still as he made his way down the steps,and she didn't seem to breathe until he was gone.

"Who.. was… that?" I asked, forcing the words out as I sorted myself out.

"Vanitas. You don't want to get in his way." She said quietly and placed her hand on my elbow to help me to stand. "Come, we're going to be late." I nodded and forced myself to ignore the pain in my ribs as she hurried us down the steps and through a set of double doors. There were rows and rows of tables filled with people eating, talking, and being happy. Almost everyone quieted as we entered, causing me to shrink into Aqua. She ignored the attention and pulled me towards a table with a few empty chairs. I sat down gratefully, hiding the pain my body was in. Aqua sat next to me, almost protectively.

"So…" One of the men at the table said after the noise level in the room returned to where it had been before I stepped inside. "Aqua, you gonna introduce us to your friend?"

"I don't know my name." I said quietly as Aqua opened her mouth. She quickly shut it and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as all the eyes at our table shifted to me.

"Do you remember anything?" A younger boy, with bright, spiky blonde hair piped up. His bright blue eyes lit up for a moment before Aqua gave him a stern look. He looked younger than Aqua, but I couldn't be sure of their ages because I couldn't even remember my own age.

"No, I don't remember anything." I said, clearing my throat.

"Well you're lucky to be here alive." An older man with spikier blonde hair and dulled blue eyes that shone bright for just a moment as he looked up noted with no inflection in his voice. "There was a terrible snow storm going on outside when Diz found you."

"We could call you Lucky," The younger boy said excitedly as food arrived at our table.

"She's not a dog Ven," Aqua shook her head at him. There was something in her voice that denoted her amusement, however.

"Well what if we shorten it." Ven looked at me and I forced myself to make eye contact. "Even if it's not your real name it would be something to call you until you can remember," he said. I nodded. His face split into a wide grin as he began digging into the food. I looked at my own plate and suddenly I didn't feel at hungry. I forced myself to eat, however. Every bite fought its way down and I had to drink too much water to get it to slide down the right way. I could only manage to eat half of the food on my plate by the time Ven was finished.

"So where is she going to be staying, Aqua?" The man next to Ven, A tall, tan, brunette with grey stormy eyes said, leaning on the table.

"She'll be staying with me, in my room." She said calmly, looking down at her food. I noticed the way the man kept leaning in as she looked away, a small blush hitting her cheeks.

"What about Lucy?" Ven said suddenly, breaking my concentration on Aqua.

"That sounds too childish Ven," the man said, sliding back in his chair.

"Well then why don't you do better Terra?"

"How about Luce. It's a bit more grown up, and no one will think for a second you tried to name her after a dog." Terra smirked to himself, then his attention turned to me. "If Luce is alright with you," He said, suddenly looking unsure of himself.

"Luce is fine." I said, looking down at the uneaten food on my plate.

"It's about time we got going, we have to get up early in the morning." Aqua said, standing suddenly. I nodded, forcing myself to stand. My body felt to weak for this much movement. How did I even manage to survive a trip here through the snow? I kept my mind focused on this as I let Aqua lead me through the halls and up four flights of stairs. Once we got to the room and Aqua pointed at the bed that would be mine I fell down on it, falling right into a dreamless sleep.

Everything about the past two hours of me being awake felt wrong to me, as if this was new, regardless of the presence of my memories. My vocal chords were not use to this much work, and neither were the muscles of my body.

We woke early in the morning, just as Aqua warned that we would. I wasn't ready to get out of the bed, but she nagged until I did. It was an odd feeling, being in a room with another person. She handed me my uniform as she brushed her hair. Once I pulled the dress on I looked in the mirror Aqua had on the wall. I didn't look right. My hair was too short, my eyes were a dark, hazel brown. The uniform hung loosely on my body. The only thing that seemed right was my skin, which was a white as the snow outside the window and criss-crossed with jagged, pale scars. I took comfort in the familiarity and looked away from the mirror to see Aqua studying me.

"Hopefully being here will help you," she looked me over once before opening the door. "Diz wants to see you before you start working." I nodded and followed Aqua out of our room. I kept better pace with her today, my legs already feeling stronger. Terra met us on the third floor, and seemed displeased by the pace Aqua was keeping. I frowned at myself for this as we stopped on the second floor. Vanitas was waiting, leaning against the banister. It was difficult to discern where he was looking, but for some reason I felt like he was staring at me. I kept my eyes to the floor as we passed him, the small hair on the back of my neck standing up. They didn't begin laying flat until we were standing outside of the door to Diz's office.

"We'll be here when you get out." Aqua gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded. Terra gave her a look, which I ignored as I walked into the room and shut the door behind me. A man with a red scarf around his face sat at a desk covered in papers and folders. He was scanning through one as I cleared my throat. He didn't turn to look at me, but instead motioned towards a metal table identical to the one I woke up on yesterday. I walked there on shaky legs, unsure of what was going to happen during this visit. I sat precariously on the edge of the table as he finished reading the file.

"Well miss…" he began, then stopped, finally looking up at me.

"Luce," I provided.

"Did you remember your name?" He asked, his voice suddenly shaky.

"No. A boy, Ven, provided me with a nickname… something I could be called until I remembered." My voice took on an almost robotic tone in front of this man. My body felt stiffer than it should as I strived to sit up straighter than necessary"

"You look healthier than you did yesterday." He seemed to relax.

"I forced myself to eat though the food tasted unappetizing." I frowned at the man. He was taking notes in one of his many folders. "Am I done here?" I forced myself to say before he could ask anymore questions. I didn't like it in this room.

"I guess so," He said, a little surprised. I jumped off of the table before he could change his mind and bolted out of the door. Aqua and Terra were not where they said they would be. My heart began to race and a pain shot through it as Vanitas stepped towards me from the shadows.

"I don't trust you," His voice was deep and thick as I began running down the hall towards the stairs that would lead me to the main floor. I made my way to the dining hall and was happy to see that Ven was sitting in the same spot he was yesterday. I took the chair next to him and sat down a little quicker than originally intended.

"Are you alright Luce?" He asked, concern touching his voice. I simply shook, unable to answer. "Where's Aqua and Terra," he asked after I refused to respond.

"They weren't where they were suppose to be," I answered quietly. After a long moment Ven's warm hand touched my shoulder and made me shudder harder. I could feel eyes on me, but I ignored them. I didn't feel alright surrounded by all of these people. All I wanted was to be alone.

I could feel the moment Aqua and Terra sat down at the table because everything around me became heavier. I looked up slowly to see Terra giving Ven and odd expression and while Aqua looked disappointed in herself.

"Where were you?" Ven asked angrily.

"Master Xehanort sent us to get Luce's schedule. We thought her meeting with the doctor would last longer." I could taste the lies in the air as Terra spoke. I ignored it. If there was a reason they weren't there I didn't want to know it if they weren't going to be forthcoming about it. I began to calm considerably before the food reached the table, but my stomach was still not very accepting of it. I forced all of it down and looked at the piece of paper Aqua handed me. It had a list of floors and room numbers. I nodded to myself before folding the paper and stuffing it into my pocket.

"I can show you around, if you'd like." Ven offered. I nodded slightly, still unsure of the young boy. Terra made a noise that cause Ven's face to pale before becoming flushed with a bright red blush.

Once breakfast was finished I began following Ven, trying to decipher the layout of the castle. There were so many rooms.

"Our castle is pretty safe, we have tons of soldiers guarding Master Xehanort. A raid has never made it as far as the castle gates before," Ven said aloud as we made it to the first room on the list. It was on the second floor and only two doors away from my shared room with Aqua. "I'm in training to become a soldier like Aqua and Terra so that I can avenge my family."

"Your family?" I asked while piling the clothes on the floor into the hamper that feed straight down into a laundry room below. I straightened up the nick nacks on the dessure, doing my best not to really move anything out of it seemingly unorganized places. Once through with this room I would be moving on to as many as I could manage today.

"They were killed in a raid from the kingdom to the east," Ven finally said as we began walking again.

"That sounds terrible."

"Most of the soldiers here are orphans of the wars fought between those two kingdoms. A lot of people have died." Ven leaned against a wall as I folded blankets. The job was easy, and somehow managed to not be too tolling on my body. Each room was similar, leaving little variety to give any distinguishable feature of the owner. Ven would give away small bits of information while I worked, keeping me distracted from the slow growing pain in my body. Most of the day passed by swiftly, until around three when Ven had to go to training, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

I trudged up the stairs to the fifth floor, and the last room on my list. The door was slightly ajar, and as I got closer I found myself dreading what I might find inside. I opened the door carefully and looked in on the chaos. There were clothes and weapons all of the floor and draped over every surface there was. I stepped inside tentatively and regretted it the second the door slammed behind me. Vanitas stood in the corner by the door, his hand still on the door.

"It's time for us to have a little talk."


	3. Chapter 2

I was thrown against the wall with such force I thought something inside of me broke. I fell to the ground and a sickening cough erupted from my throat, spewing blood on Vanitas' shoes. He made a disgusted noise as he leaned down and grabbed me by my collar, pulling me up with little to no effort.

"You're weaker than I thought you would be," Vanitas spat at me. Aren't you going to fight back?"

"I can't," I croaked, blood trailing down the side of my mouth. My vision began darkening and pulsating around him.

"I know you're not who you say you are." He dropped me back to the floor. I fell hard, hitting my head on the wall on my way down. "You're a spy from the other kingdom, come to ruin us and bring victory to your pathetic people." He scoffed and began pacing. He stopped suddenly as another spasm of coughing took over my body. He looked like he was about to take his mask off, but turned sharply away from me instead.

"I don't know who I am," I murmured to myself as Vanitas whispered.

"Well, spy, just know that I don't trust you," He said finally as my vision warped into darkness. There was a calmness in being surrounded by the darkness around me. I breathed in the scent.

I opened my eyes to a bright light and jumped up at the memory of waking up in this room. I had clothes on this time, but I felt more broken than before. My insides were bruised, that much I could be sure of.

"Sit still. That boy did a number on you," Diz said. I nodded, Scooting as far back on the table as I could manage. This man was as strange as that boy, but in a different way. Though neither liked to show their faces, one seemed kind, but unapproachable, while the other was simply cruel. Diz stepped towards me and placed his hand on my back. Warmth filled my body and I could feel the accelerated growth of torn ligaments and the mending of broken blood vessels. Soon I could feel my muscle filling out, returning to a healthier shape. Once he stepped back I felt better.

"What was that?" I asked, almost surprised at how smooth my voice sounded and at the lack of pain that came with talking.

"Healing magic. I should have casted it on you long ago, but I had been distracted by other things." He was speaking more to himself than to me. I tilted my head, my short hair falling in front of my eyes.

"I've been here a day." I said, trying to think back. This place felt familiar to me. The Lab was an organized mess with stacks of shelves and books piled all over the place. Folders were shrewn across the desk, some open with pages marked while others were locked with strange glyphs on the front.

"No, you've been awake for a day." He turned to one of his folders and took a few notes before turning back to me. "During my physical of you when I found you I could sense some sort of power within you, you must keep this a secret." His words were a direct order, and my body responded without my consent. I was nodding, and though I told myself to stop it continued for an extended period of time.

"My body reacts wrong to food. It should be pleasing, but it makes me feel sicker."

"You will be fine." He said, opening the door. I nodded and slid off the table. My legs felt strong and new. I enjoyed the way the muscles moved beneath my skin as I walked and soon I found myself running down the stairs. It was dark outside the window, but I could hear talk coming from the mess hall downstairs.

I knew it was coming before it made contact, and moving just slightly out of the way probably saved my life. I fell down onto the ground, knocked over from the blow of a fist. I looked up to see Vanitas standing over me once again. Something was different this time. I wasn't afraid. I could feel the darkness ebbing off of him, feeding his anger. I stood quietly as he watched me from behind the mask.

"Why do you attack me?" I asked, looking at him evenly. I could feel something inside trying to find it's way out, and I pushed it down as far as I could.

"You don't belong here." He growled.

"I belong here just as much as you do." I smiled, feeling more confident than I should. Though he had punched me rather hard I could barely feel the pain that was once there. I stepped toward him and tilted my head again.

"You should leave."

"Make me," I said the words softly, as menacingly as I could. Vanitas stood still as I turned away from him. I wasn't the same person I was this morning. I felt powerful. I paced myself down the steps and took deep breaths, calming the rushing feeling in my chest. When I entered the dining hall all conversation stopped. I ignored the obvious stares as I made my way to the table Aqua and Ven were sitting at. Ven's eyes grew wide, while Aqua looked over me approvingly.

"You look better," She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Vanitas," Terra said as he sat down. I shrugged.

"I don't think he'll bother me again." I said looking down at the food in front of me. There was meat, vegetables, and some small white grain i've never seen before. None of it looked appealing at all. I frowned as everyone else began digging in while talking about their days. I forced the food down, feeling sick with every bite. By the time Ven was finished and began talking to me I was lightheaded and drowsy.

Why am I so tired? I've done nothing but sleep.

"So… how are you feeling?" Ven asked me. I shook my head.

"Not so good." I frowned,

"I'll take you to your room," he offered, standing quickly. I nodded weakly and stood as well.

"I won't be in until late," Aqua said softly as Ven and I began moving away. I nodded as Ven placed his hand on my elbow to steady me. Oh the highs and lows I go through in one day. My stomach began rolling and tightening as we left the mess hall and before I knew what what was happening I was on my knees throwing up in a potted plant. Everything around me was spinning and somewhere in the background I could see glowing yellow eyes as I heaved. Everything I had eaten came up, along with bile, leaving a terrible taste in my mouth and a disgusting feeling in my throat.

"Luce," Ven sat down next to me, Moving strands of my hair out of my face. His hand was warm against my cold skin, sending a shiver down my back. Once my stomach had settled I moved away from the plant and leaned against the wall next to Ven. So much for feeling strong. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked, scooting a little closer to me. His heat was welcome, and I found myself against him to soak it up. I could feel his pulse underneath his skin, and it made my throat constrict.

"I don't think I will be. Ven, I feel wrong." I sighed. He inched a little bit closer and put his arm around my shoulder.

"It'll get better. I know it must be difficult for you to get use to this, especially with your memory gone." His voice was smooth and low. He was looking at me with concern on his face.

"It's getting easier." I said quietly. "But I feel like I don't really belong," I looked down at my wrist. Small, almost indiscernible scars poked out from underneath the fabric of my uniform. How did I get these? Were they self-inflicted? Was I miserable where I was, or have I always felt like I didn't belong? I sighed and Ven looked down at my hand. Very gently he placed one of his hands on mine, intertwining his fingers with me. More warmth spread through me, making my lips twitch up into a smile.

"We're all here to help, you're not alone," Ven smiled at me and I nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments, until I could feel the tiny hairs on the back of my neck standing up completely.

"Will you help me up?" I said quietly, trying to stay calm. Something bad was going to happen if we stayed here, I just knew it. Ven nodded and untangled himself from me. Once he was standing he offered me his hand and I took it. Even with all of the muscle and weight I had recently gain he still picked me up with ease. We walked quietly to Aqua's room, occasionally bumping shoulders. The entire time I could feel my hairs raising,

Once we reached Aqua's room I distanced myself from Ven and gave him a weak smile.

"I'm not feeling well so I think I'm going to go to bed," I said weakly.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," He grinned and turned around, walking away with his hands in his pockets. I slunk into Aqua's room, leaving the lights off. I felt at home in the darkness. Slowly the sick feeling left me, but the hairs on the back of my neck didn't smooth over until I lay in bed and began drifting off to sleep. Soon I began dreaming…

I was standing in a very shaded garden, looking at a girl who was frail and weak. Her hair was long and matted with twigs and leaves. Her face was sunken and her entire frame screamed weak, but her eyes glowed a strong gold, almost drawing in all of my attention.

"You're the key," She whispered, her voice hoarse and unrecognizable.

"The key to what?" I asked, looking around. We were standing by a small pond that was black and inky, with no visible bottom. A cold wind began blowing and snow fell through the few cracks in the canopy above us.

"You're the key," She looked at me again, tilting her head. "Keep it hidden," She pressed her hand against my chest and pushed me lightly. Without warning I was falling into the pond. Dark tendrils pulled me deeper into the pond as all the air in my lungs was pushed out of me. I watched as the bubbles floated to the surface, and as I began drowning in the dark water I heard her voice mumbling, but I couldn't understand the words.

"If you don't wake up soon I'll have to leave you here," Aqua said, gently nudging me. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, taking in my surroundings. There was pale, white light coming in from the window, snow flurries were dancing outside in the wind. "Good morning," Aqua smiled as I sat up. My hair was sticking out in all directions.

"Yeah, good morning." I said quietly, mesmerized by the snow outside.

"Hurry or we won't make it to breakfast," Aqua said, pointing at a stack of clothes at the end of the bed. "We're going outside today because the snow has let up."

"You go without me, I'm not feeling very hungry." I lied. I was starving, but food didn't sound appetizing.

"You sure?" She asked, looking at me with a worried expression. I nodded and she paused for a moment. "With all of the…"

"Aqua thank you," I smiled at her, "but I need to become a little more independant. I appreciate everything you and your friends have done for me."

"Just remember, we consider you our friend too," She said with a weak smile. I nodded and she left the room. I stood slowly, worried that I would feel as weak as I did yesterday morning. I was surprised to see that I still felt strong. I stripped myself of my maids outfit and began pulling on clean underwear when the door opened again.

"Hey Aqua are you-" Ven started to say as he walked in and then froze. His face turned red as he looked me over.

"Aqua has already left for breakfast," I said while continuing to put my clothes on.

"Right, sorry." He turned around and was about to leave when he looked back at me again. "Would you like me to escort you…"

"There's no need." I shook my head as I pulled my shirt on. It was a tank top with silver thread running through it in an interesting design that I couldn't quite place.

"Alright" He shut the door behind me and I shrugged. His reaction seemed odd to me. I pulled my pants on and then buckled the boots onto my feet. The clothes were a bit tight, but form fitting. I slipped on a black jacket that had more zippers and buckles than were necessary.

When I left the room I checked the hallway to make sure there was no one there. I didn't want to be followed as I explored the castle, just in case I stumbled across something I wasn't suppose to. I would hate for Vanitas to feel that he was in the right for calling me a spy. I walked with unsure steps as I looked for Diz's office. After all it couldn't hurt to ask him for directions to the library. I never saw him at breakfast or dinner so I was slightly curious as to what it was he was doing while everyone else devoured that poison. When I got on Diz's floor I quickened my pace, knowing just where to go. I was about to knock on the door when I heard him whispering to someone.

"She seems to be showing no signs of having recovered her memories, but it's still too early to tell. My attempt to give her more human characteristics has worked for the most part, but she is still unable to eat human food. That is probably my fault." I backed away from the door. Were they talking about me…? I turned sharply to find myself looking into the mirrored mask of Vanitas.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wasn't feeling well, I can't keep food down, and figured Diz would be able to help me. He sounds busy however, so I will not bother him.' I said automatically. The body stood a good distance away from me, but was blocking my exit.

"What have you heard?"

"He was talking about how I haven't regained my memories yet." I half told the truth. I wasn't sure if he was truly talking about me, or what any of the rest of what he said meant, but it was a safe answer.

"Have you truly lost your memories?" Vanitas stepped towards me. I stood my ground as the door behind me opened and Diz looked between the two of us.

"Luce, Vanitas, what are you doing here?" there was anxiety in his voice.

"I wasn't feeling well and thought you would be able to help." I answered without taking my eyes off of Vanitas' mask. What does he hid behind it?

"Then please, enter." Diz said in a guarded tone. Vanitas crossed his arms as I entered Diz's lab. Diz shut the door loudly and turned around to look at me. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked.

"I can't eat, and I don't want to become frail again." I said in a robotic voice. My mouth was about to begin talking about my dream but I clamped it down as the words died in my throat. Yes I needed Diz's help with my food issue, but I didn't like how forthcoming with information I am around him.

"This is odd indeed," He turned away from me and examined two charts. There was a long moment of silence before he looked towards me again. "It would be wise for you to come here once a day, preferably around breakfast so that I can cast healing magics on you. They should keep you fit and hopefully you won't starve from lack of food." I nodded and placed my hand on the doorknob.

"Thank you for your time," I said quietly, without looking up at him.

"He's probably still out there."

"I can handle that." I shrugged and opened the door. Vanitas was no where to be seen, but something told me that he could be watching my every move. I walked towards the staircase then turned around. Diz was standing in the doorway, looking at me. "I forgot to ask, where is the library?"

"Theres a door on this floor, next to the foyer." His voice became tense.

"Thanks," I nodded to him and began walking again. Once I reached the foyer I looked around for a door, the only one I saw was large and made of dark wood, which was odd seeing as most of the other doors i've seen were made of light timber. I walked towards it with unsure steps, something in my chest contracting with every step.


	4. Chapter 3

My movements were rigid as I stepped into the doorway of the library. There was little light, most of it coming from small orbs of light in the ceiling. I walked among the rows of bookcases til I came to a stop in front of a small desk. I could barely breathe as I stepped closer. Something tugged its way to the surface of my subconscious, and just as I was about to reach it, the feeling was gone. I frowned as I looked around. This library was vaguely familiar to me, just like the rest of the castle, yet I had been found out in the snow and no one seems to recognize me. I placed my fingertips on the table and felt the wood beneath my hand. It was made out of sturdy wood. I walked around it and sat in the plush chair next to the wall. The fabric was soft and pliable.

How could this place seem so familiar to me? Is it similar to where I came from?

Where is that garden? I asked myself. I looked around. There were more than enough books here, at least one of them had to have information on what I was looking for. I stood up quickly and reached for the first book I could. In it was a story of the 'light within each heart'. I shut the book and placed it back on the shelf. I picked up the next one, which contained recipes for various healing items.

I went through book after book, finding nothing useful. I was about to give up when Ven tapped me on the shoulder.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at the book in my hands.

"I'm looking for a book about Hollow Bastion." I said with a meek voice. I was starting to feel drained. I probably should have stuck around Diz so that he could heal me before I began on this wild goose chase for a garden that probably wasn't even in this kingdom.

"You're looking in the wrong section," he laughed and I sighed. "Come one, those books are up on the second floor." I nodded and placed the book back in its spot. I followed him up a flight of stairs. "You sit here, I'll get you the books," his smile widened as I nodded. He disappeared for a few moments and then returned with a stack of six books or so.

"Thank you." I opened the first book and began skimming through the pages. Ven stood beside me quietly until he cleared his throat. I looked up at him and his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"You know, we're all going out soon, we'd really like it if you'd come with us." I looked at my pile of books and then back at Ven. His blue eyes were big and pleading, and I couldn't help myself.

"Yeah, I can go out for a bit," I said with a smile on my face while putting the book down.

"They'll still be there when you get back, no one ever uses the library." Ven assured me as I stood. I nodded and followed him back to the foyer where Aqua and Terra were waiting. They nervously moved away from each other as we got closer and I shook my head. Did they really think no one knew what they were doing?

"Ready?" Aqua said, excitedly.

"It's going to be cold," Terra said, looking at Ven pointedly.

"Oh, right." Ven rubbed the back of his head and ran off quickly. He was soon back with two warm jackets. He handed me the smaller of the two, and I rewarded him with a small smile. The inside was lined with warm furs that would keep the cold off of me. As we walked outside I noticed everyone else shivered a bit, but the cold didn't affect me. At least, not yet.

"It's very beautiful." Aqua smiled.

"Yes it is," Terra said. Aqua wasn't paying attention, but he was looking right at her. I rolled my eyes and looked at Ven. His face was lit up with wonderment and when he looked at me his blue eyes lit up brighter than the light blue sky above us.

"Haven't been out in a while?" I asked, walking towards a pile of snow. Ven was watching the way Aqua and Terra kept bumping into each other. He wasn't even paying attention to the snowball I was forming in my numb hands.

"No, Master Xehanort doesn't really let us out much." He finally turned towards me a little too late. Snow flew into his hair and onto his face. He fell backwards out of surprise and his clothes began soaking in the wet snow. "That was a cheap throw!" Ven laughed.

"Always suspect a threat, even during peace," Aqua said, walking up to him. "Mantra of the warrior, Ven." She shook her head at him and helped him stand. I could hear the faint sound of snow crunching and being molded and ducked before Terra's snowball could make contact with me. I stayed low to the ground, smiling at the white furs of my jacket. It made me somewhat camouflaged within the white white snow. I quickly made two more snowballs and looked around. Aqua was leaning over talking to Ven, while Terra was standing in the treeline, waiting for me to pop up so that he could hit me. I popped up quickly, threw my first snowball and ducked down again before Terra could get a good throw. I moved slowly to my right as he scanned the snow. It was fun, playing this game. I kept throwing snow at Terra until there was more snow on him than fur.

"She's pretty good." I heard Ven say.

"She has good reflexes. Maybe she was a soldier before she lost her memory." Aqua said a little louder. I frowned, thinking of my small frame holding a sword against anyone. I didn't have the strength for that. While I was contemplating the thoughts running through my head, Terra was stalking towards me.

"Gotcha!" he cried as he sprang to land on top of me. I rolled to the left and jumped up to stand. Terra fell face-first in the snow, his clothing completely soaked. Aqua laughed her airy laugh and Ven joined in. A slow smile crept across my face as Terra rolled over.

"I give," He growled as he rolled over. "You're good kid," he smiled up at me.

"Thanks," I nodded and offered him my hand so that he could stand. He took it and attempted to pull me down. Instead I pushed myself up and flipped over his body, revelling in my muscles ability to follow my thoughts. I landed lightly, one foot on each side of his head.

"Scary." Terra murmured as I dropped his hand and rolled over so he could push himself up. "You could make it with the rest of us soldiers." he motioned with his head back to Aqua and Ven. Aqua was silently clapping for me while Ven was starry-eyed.

"Maybe if I regain more of my memories," I gave a tight smile. The movement was more relaxed now.

"Suit yourself. I think I'm soaked to the bone now, so we should probably head in and warm up." I nodded and began walking back towards the large front doors. I wanted to explore, but I didn't feel comfortable doing so without knowledge as to what was around me.

"You read pretty fast," Aqua said, sitting next to me. I had three piles of books around me. It was late and dinner was about to be served, but I wasn't hungry. I'm never hungry.

"It's fascinating information," I set the book down and studied Aqua. She looked tired, but she was glowing. I opened my mouth to say something, but thought better of it. There was definitely something between Terra and Aqua, but it was none of my business to get into it.

"You don't eat much, it worried me." She frowned. I mirrored her frown and looked into the fireplace that was keeping the room warm.

"The food makes me sick." I closed my eyes and thought about last night. All of the bile in my stomach rose at just the thought, but I pushed it down. "I'll be fine," I opened my eyes and smiled at her. She nodded, but her face was grave.

"Just be careful being by yourself. Not everyone in this castle is as nice as they seem." She stood and patted me on the shoulder before leaving. That left me thinking for a moment, as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

A week passed by and the snow was lifting more and more every day. I had yet to find mention of the garden I was looking for, and the same dream ran through my head day after day. When left alone in the library I felt like I was being watched, but no one attacked me. Vanitas was keeping his distance from me, while Ven seemed to be trying to get closer and closer. He would sit next to me while I read about the land surrounding Hallow Bastion. There were a lot of woods surrounding the castle, and a small town nearby. I looked back to the hazy memory of my dream. The garden was completely enclosed within trees, almost so dense that there was no light except from small cracks in the leafless canopy.

"What is it you've been looking for?" Ven asked, looking in a book about fairy tales.

"I've had a recurring dream about a garden, and I think it's somewhere near the castle," I frowned, checking the time. "I need to get back to my chores." I set the book down and stretched. My body movements felt more natural with every passing day, but I still moved more rigidly than everyone else. The only movements I ever made that were fluid were during the snowball fight with Terra. I had never felt more alive then in that moment.

Terra kept offering to bring me to Master Xehanort to be added to the soldier program, but I kept declining him. I'm not sure how I would feel with a sword in my hand, fighting someone else's war.

"I can walk you around," Ven offered. I nodded, letting him feel useful. It was an unusually bleak day for the bright weak we've been having, so training was canceled for today.

"So which room should I clean up first?"

"Mine," Ven teased, bumping into me. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise as his skin made contact with mine. I always felt like I was being watched, as of recently. It started when Ven began coming around me more often. I looked around the empty library, silently willing myself to see my pursuer.

As we continued walking something odd happened. A dark, shadowed corner of the library lit up for just a moment, letting me see the silhouette of a man right before it was consumed by darkness again. A chill ran down my spine, but Ven kept chatting excitedly about a new training exercise he couldn't wait to do again. I nodded and made appropriate noises when he paused. Who could that have been, and why would they be watching me from the shadows…?

The biggest question that crossed my mind was: Did I really do that?"

"So, you're looking a lot better," Ven smiled at me.

"I feel a lot better," I said as I folded the sheets in one room. I vaguely remembered the face who owned it. He had bright blue eyes and spikey blonde hair, but for the life of me I couldn't remember the name. "I'm almost done, and dinner is going to be ready soon, you should go get your food," I smiled at him. Ven frowned but nodded.

"Alright, promise I'll see you after dinner?"

"I'll see what I can do." I gave him a nod as we left the room and split ways. The last room on my roster was Vanitas' room, which always gave me chills. Vanitas was an odd man, fairly quiet unless he was letting you know exactly how he felt about something. His voice was always cold and violence was the first option he implemented. As I climbed the stairs to his room I could feel my body movements shift from comfortable movements to guarded ones. All of the interactions I've had with him could have ended in my dying. He was strong, but recently my body seemed to be able to take his blows and harsh words.

I knocked on his door and it opened on its own. I took a deep breath and entered. He lay on his bed, reading a think encyclopedia. His room was its usual mess of clothes all over the floor and broken furniture. I froze in my tracks as he shut the book. For the first time since I came to this place he wasn't wearing his helmet. His face was attractive, extremely so. His eyes were a deep honey yellow while his hair was a deep jet black like my own. In some places it stood up in messy spikes, while in others it lay flat. It looked like he had been laying in bed all day.

"Would you like for me to clean anything in here, sir?" my voice was small. He looked at me, cocking his head to the side.

"No, there's nothing in here that you need to touch." He stood up and walked towards me, the encyclopedia in his hand. I nodded and took a step back, walking into the door that had shut behind me. He stopped a foot away, our bodies so close together. There was no room for me to move successfully out of the way if he decided to throw any sort of punch. I was doomed. "I overheard you earlier. You're looking for a garden." He tilted his head in the other direction and inched closer to me. HIs breath smelled of blood, and for some reason that made my mouth water. While I was busy focusing on his mouth, the way his lips were twitching up into a wicked smile, he pushed the encyclopedia into my hands. "Maybe this will be helpful." I nodded and my hand fumbled for the doorknob. He leaned away from me, placing his hands in his pockets. He was wearing normal clothing instead of the odd muscle like suit he coupled with that odd helmet. He looked attractive. As I opened the door and stepped outside, into the bright light of the hall I could only see Vanitas' shadow, and I gasped at what I saw.

"You were the one in the library," I said to myself in a whisper. The cocky smiled he had been wearing fell from his face almost instantly as my words reached him. I was already running down the hall as a look of anger began spreading over his features, turning his attractive face into a mask of murder.

I didn't stop until I was in my room and the door was locked. I wasn't exactly sure what that would accomplish, seeing as Vanitas was stronger than most of the men here and could probably easily break the door down, but it made me feel safe. I thumbed through the book, looking at all the pictures of gardens around Hallow Bastion until the page fell on one. It was filled with live flowers and well manicured, but I would recognize that small pond and the twisting metal fence anywhere. I read the blurb under the picture which told me that it was located near the woods but the rear entrance of the castle.

That meant it was close to the training grounds. I bookmarked the page, feeling weary and bone tired. I didn't understand why, I barely did anything today. Could running really take this much out of me. I closed my eyes before dinner was finished, leaving Ven alone.

Sometime, while asleep, I felt a warm set of lips touch my neck, and the sharp feeling of teeth on my collar bone. When I opened my eyes whoever I was imagining doing those things was gone, a wilted rose sitting on top of the book holding the only clue I had to my past. I sat up, looking out of the window. There was bright sun shining into the room, almost giving off warmth. Aqua walked out of our bathroom, her blood hair dripping with water.

"I'll be out for the day," She said, towel drying her hair. "I'm sure Ven will be happy to do something with you today if you want to get out though," She grinned at me. I tilted my head to the side.

"Thank you Aqua, I hope you have fun." She nodded and dropped the towel on her bed as she left. I looked down at the rose and frowned. Who would leave it here? I shook my head and walked towards the bathroom, it was still steaming from Aqua's too hot shower. I turned the faucets on and ran the water, waiting for the bath to fill up. While waiting I stripped and wiped the steam off of the mirror. I gasped at the perfect marks of teeth running up and down my collar bone.

"How the hell did I get these?" I asked myself. I didn't have an answer so I turned from the mirror and turned the faucets off, sinking into the warm, silky water. Everything smelled like roses. I washed my body, taking my time and being careful around the marks on the collarbone. They were very sore, and some of them had thin scabs from where my biter drew blood. I washed my short hair quickly, then I climbed out of the tub.

A knock rapped on the door, causing me to jump as I wrapped the towel around myself. I walked out of the bathroom and opened the door wearily. Vanitas stood there in jeans that hung off his hips, no shirt on. He looked mildly disinterested in whatever it was he was looking at, but his honey eyes snapped to me the second the door was open.

"I came to apologize," He said, looking up and down my body. "But this, my dear, is no way to answer the door when there are predators about," He gave me a crooked grin.

"The only predator i've met so far is you," I placed my hands on my hips, causing my towel to open just a bit. More cleavage than usual was showing, but it didn't seem to bother Vanitas at all.

"I'm sure you'd love it if that were true," His eyes fell to the bite mark on my collar bone and his smirk grew, "but you should watch your back, as well as your front." He placed his hands in his pockets and began walking away. Ven was walking towards me, giving to man a quizzical look. Once he passed Vanitas, Vanitas turned to look at me, placing his pointer finger over his lips.

"Who's that?" Ven asked, his face growing a bit red from my lack of clothing.

"A friend," I answered, dazed. A dark look flitted over Ven's face as Vanitas nodded and stepped back, into an orb of growing darkness. Ven turned around a few seconds too late and Vanitas was gone.

"An odd friend," He muttered. I nodded.

"I have to get dressed really quick," I said, walking into the room. Ven stood in the doorway, unmoving. I rolled my eyes and pulled some non-uniform clothing out of my dressure. I dressed quickly, ignoring the weird sound that escaped Ven's throat. It was something between a whine and a growl as he shut the door and entered the room. I dried my short hair quickly, and turned to see Ven's face an odd shade of red.

"So.. what happened last night?" he asked. He didn't notice the teeth marks earlier, so I made sure that they were covered with a shirt.

"I got weak and decided to sleep." I lied. More like I got scared by the odd, attractive, boy that gave me the biggest clue needed to find the garden that haunts my dreams. "But, I have an idea of what we can do today," I smiled at him, pulling on a jacket.

"Cool, I'm up for anything," He grinned, his face finally returning to a normal color.

"I have to stop by Diz's place first." I frowned. He nodded and we left the room, walking the all too familiar path to Diz's office. I knocked on the door a few times. He took longer than usual, and I was rocking back and forth on my feet until he finally opened the door.

"Luce, you're here early," He frowned. I looked past him, into the room where Vanitas lay on a table, wearing nothing but a white cloth.

"Yeah…" My voice died in my throat as I looked at the dead expression on Vanitas's face. HIs honey eyes were glazed over, but every so often they would shine a bright yellow. "I can come back later," I said, backing away from the door and forcing a smile. He nodded, looking bleak. Ven simply followed behind me as I began making my way to the lower floor.

"What had him so busy?" Ven asked. He hadn't been standing by the door so he didn't see Vanitas on the table.

"He had another patient, one who looked really sick." I said, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Ah, so where are we going?"

"Actually I was hoping you could help with that." I turned around abruptly, knocking into Ven. He was tall, and his lips were just inches from mine.

"What can I do to help?" His voice dropped low as his eyes became lidded. Something clenched inside of me and I had to force myself to breath.

"Umm… well.." I began stuttering as I stepped back, Almost missing the step behind me. "I was hoping you could take me to the training grounds. Theres.. suppose to be a garden there. The one I've been dreaming about." Ven leaned in closer to me, his blue eyes darkening for just a moment before he stood upright and smiled.

"Sure thing, Luce." He put his hands in his pockets and began leading. I walked a few feet behind him, focusing on my heart so it would stop racing. Ven lead me out of two large doors at the rear of the castle. I froze for a bit, taking in the number of people wielding swords and throwing magic at each other. There were at least a hundred men and women actively participating, while even more stood around and studied their movements. "So where is this garden suppose to be?" Ven asked, looking over his shoulder at me.

"In the woods," I answered, still in awe. "There are so many soldiers here."

"Yeah, Master Xehanort wants to make sure we're ready for anything, but he gives us plenty of time to relax so we don't burn out." Ven grinned as he began walking down the steps. I followed closely behind him, and soon we were weaving in between the groups training. He was good at dodging attacks, but I was a bit clumsy, sometimes tripping as I saw swords and odd key-like weapons thrust towards me. Yet… with every movement I began predicting which groups would try to hit us, which ones would get close, how best to avoid each attack.

I began enjoying it soon. Each step was an adventure. Once we were through the throng I was almost sad, but that soon faded as we neared the thick woods at the edge of the training ground. Anticipation took hold of me as I took the lead and looked for any signs of the garden. The trees were extremely close together the further we walked into the forest. I frowned as I stopped, my eyes straining for the glint of black metal in the sun.

"Are you sure it's here?" Ven asked, placing his hand on my wrist. I nodded.

"I read about it. It's suppose to be close to the training grounds."

"Maybe it's further in?" he offered.

"Hopefully." I sighed, my hopes suddenly dashed.

"Come on, don't give up!" Ven's hand ran down my wrist to my hand and he began pulling me deeper into the trees, where even the sun didn't quite reach all the way to the floor because the canopy was so completely grown together. In this twilight I saw the faintest glimmer of black steel.

"There," I pointed. Ven squinted and smiled.

"Looks like a fence to me." He tightened his grip on my hand and began surging forward in a sprint. I was pleased to see that I kept up very well. We had to climb through a few trees, slow our pace, even completely climb up a tree, in order to get to the gate of the garden. the fingers of my free hand wrapped tightly around the metal of the gate as I squeezed Ven with my other hand. I looked up at him, worry taking over my features.

"Hey, you came searching for this place with a reason in mind. Whatever the reason, just know I'm here to back you," His smile was dazzling, as always. Something inside of my chest clenched and I nodded.

"Thank you," I said, looking at the black metal beneath my hand. I pushed the gate open and took in the sight of the garden. It was exactly as it had been in my dreams, except that the lake was frozen over. I walked in slowly, letting the images burn their way into my memory. It was beautiful, but nothing like the picture that showed a blooming garden. This garden was covered in thorns and death, but in the corner, a single, blood red rose was blooming. I moved towards it slowly, pulling Ven with me. I froze half-way there.

Where was the girl from my dream?

She should be here.

I looked around, confused for a moment. Little piles of snow lay where the snow could manage to squeeze it's way through the thick canopy. dead leaves were everywhere, scattered across the dead grass. Each step came with a loud, crisp, crunch. The fountain next to the pond was crumbling and in disrepair. There was no visible sign that the girl I was looking for even existed.

I frowned.

"Is it not what you expected?" Ven asked, pulling me close to him. As he did this the little hairs on the back of my neck rose. Did he feel this too? The feeling of being watched… I disliked it a lot. It happened most often when Ven would be obviously affectionate to me, like now, or when he would pull a lock of my hair to get me to focus on him.

"It's not." I shook my head. "I don't know what I was expecting, but it's not here." My frown deepened.

"Please don't do that." Ven's voice got deep as he pulled a lock of my hair behind my hear. The feeling of being watched increased, causing my stomach to clench. Ven's blue eyes darkened a shade and he regarded me in an odd way.

"Do what?" I asked, searching his eyes for some clue as to why he was acting differently.

"Frown. I hate it when you frown." he ran his thumb over my forehead. "You get little creases here that look a little too cute." His thumb continued to smooth them over as his hand rested on my face. "It makes me want to…" He was pulling my face towards his, pulling my whole body closer to him.

HIs lips were so close to mine.

I could smell him clearly. He smelled airey, a faint fragrance that was odd in the stuffy warm castle.

My heart clenched and my stomach smoothed over just long enough to fill with a nervous feeling.

I had never kissed a guy before.

My eyes widened as his, already lidded and heavy looking, closed.

he was so very close…

A blade of darkness was soaring at us. I pushed Ven away from me and we both fell into the crunchy leaves. The blade had come close to cutting us in half. The feeling of being watched mixed with the fear of almost dying and my stomach clenched and tied itself in knots, causing a nauseous feeling to bubble inside of me.

"The hell was that?" Ven asked, jumping up quickly. I couldn't answer. While Ven was busy scanning our surrounding for an attacker, my eyes locked on the retreating figure, buried deep within a portal of darkness.

"We should go." I said, shaking. "I don't feel safe here."

"I'm sorry," Ven's forced calm was scary. His face looked more serene as he helped me stand, but his light blue eyes were dark and shaded. Hiding something I was sure I never wanted to see unleashed. "Want to go see Diz? Maybe he's done with his patient by now. It's been a while since we left." I nodded, somehow knowing he was very done with his patient.

Making it out of the woods was easier than finding the garden, and by a little after three in the afternoon we were back out at the training grounds. The fighters had switched. Those we had earlier seen observing were now taking up arms against their comrades. Ven wound us through the duels again instead of around. I was finished shaking now so it didn't really bother me, but Ven still stayed very close to me, his eyes bright and alert. The earlier darkness had receded.

Without warning a stray fireball rocketed towards us. I put up my arms in a weak attempt in defense, closing my eyes shut, knowing that I was going to get hit. It was too close to dodge.

I stood there, anticipating the pain…

It never came.

I opened my eyes to see a thick barrier of pure darkness between the fireball and myself. Everything around us fell silent as people turned to look at me. I could feel all sorts of eyes on me, but only one made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at full attention. I searched around us for anyone who made my instincts scream, but instead I felt weaker and weaker with every breath I took. The fireball burned out, turning into a smoking ember that flitted around in a weak breeze until it fell to the ground dead.

I followed it after a few more breaths, my shield of darkness evaporating as my eyes closed


	5. Chapter 4

"Luce," Ven's voice called. I shook my head. More voices kept calling my name, melting together. At least, until one voice called a little stronger.

"Luce," It was a growl, low and deep. It could only belong to one person, and the thought that he was watching me while I was unconscious made me tremble with fear, forcing me to claw my way to consciousness. But it also filled me with something else, something I couldn't name and wasn't sure of.

This scared me even more.

I forced my eyes open to see Ven sitting next to my bed, his worried expression turning to one of happiness as I sat up slowly. Aqua and Terra were also there, both looking equal parts worried and relieved. Diz was in the background, walking around shifting papers and taking notes. Vanitas was in the back corner speaking with two men. One was older with a balding head and bright yellow eyes. The other was younger with similar features. He was probably the young lord a few of the servants whispered about.

"What happened?" I finally said, looking at Ven, but keeping Vanitas in my peripheral. His is the voice that woke me, the one that has my stomach fluttering.

"Someone who wasn't in complete control of their magic attacked, but their aim was off. It was all my fault you were even in that situation.." Ven grabbed my hand. His warmth spread through me, but I could feel electricity running through the air. The skin on the back of my neck prickled, but no one in the room was moving any differently. Vanitas had his mask on, however.

What was he hiding behind it?

"The fireball was headed straight towards you, and neither of us noticed it until it was too late to dodge… but you did the most amazing thing!" Ven's voice got a little higher with his excitement.

"What did I do?" I asked, actually giving him my full attention. My memory was hazy, and as he spoke the picture was coming together. I remembered my heart pounding, throwing my arms up in hopes that I could somehow manage to block the attack. I scrunched my eyes closed so I wouldn't have to watch what little I remembered of my life flash before them. Something slipped out of my fingertips… something that had been waiting to escape for weeks… I had been keeping it bottled up.

"You produced a very advanced and very strong barrier made of what appeared to be made of pure darkness. Few are capable of this. Vanitas is the best at it." The younger man with white hair and tanned golden skin said, stepping towards me. I eyed him warily for a moment before him slips spread into a wide, white smile of sharp teeth. Teeth that were as sharp as mine. "Forgive me, I am aware that you are new here, but you must not have been properly introduced to my father and I. I am Ansem, heir to the throne, and this," he motioned towards the older man, "is my father, Xehanort."

"What does it mean? That I made such a barrier?" I asked the man. Vanitas shifted a bit in the background and cold ran down my spine. "Your highness," I added almost seamlessly. His smile slowly spread to his odd yellow eyes as he stepped even closer still. Ven seemed to freeze at his proximity.

"It means, no matter how cute you may look in a maids outfit, you belong with our soldiers. And I am pleased that Diz found you and talked my father into keeping you. You and your possible gifts could be a great asset to our kingdom in this war." His voice was warm, but his eyes iced over. Aqua stiffened as he crept even closer. "If you would like to continue serving us, that is."

"Yes." I said without thinking. Something took over my body, my voice. Something made me want to stay. I could see Vanitas in the background, his shoulders seemed to sag a bit in what I assumed was disappointment… or relief. It would be easier to tell with his helmet off.

"Excellent," Master Xehanort said, a smile crossing his face, but it never made it to his eyes. "Vanitas will help you master your gifts. I can only hope you have a few more in common, but even just the barrier will be very helpful." I nodded.

"I need to examine the patient now." Diz said, making my three friends jump. Everyone nodded and my friends stood and left in a hurry.

"It was nice meeting you," Ansem said, giving me another warm smile.

"You as well, your grace, and your eminence," I added to Master Xehanort as he nodded in my direction. Vanitas stayed behind, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Diz gave him a look, and then shrugged as he stepped towards me. He placed his hand on my back and I felt the familiar warmth of his healing magic seep into me, making me feel full and more awake.

"Why do you do that?" Vanitas asked suddenly, causing me to jump.

"Food disagrees with her in a way similar to you. Only, we've yet to find anything other than healing magic to substitute it. Since she's now in your care, you can perform it for her every morning before training."

"My pleasure." I couldn't tell what his voice was laced with, but it was different. I could only assume he was very upset with his new role.

"Would you like me to leave?" I asked, turning towards him as Diz began looking over his notes and occasionally looking up at me to study me. I felt a little upset.

"No. Things have been interesting here since you arrived." His voice was cold.

"I hope I can continue to be a dutiful toy for you,' I growled at him.

"Careful what you wish for." There was a chuckle in his voice as he pushed himself off the wall and strode across the room. I couldn't help but watch him walk. Once the door shut behind him I took a deep breath.

"I understood why you used it, but did you have to use so much of it?"

"I wasn't' in control of it. I panicked" I shot Diz a mean look. "I don't even know what I'm capable of. I didn't even know anything was going to happen. I was pretty sure I was going to be grievously injured or killed." I no longer answered him in a robotic voice, but the answers did still come with too much truth tinged in the words. At least all the venom I felt for him was there. "I don't remember anything about myself. How was I to know that was going to happen?"

"You're right, I apologize." He sighed, taking another look at his folder filled with papers.

"Maybe I can regain some of my memories from this," I looked down at my hands. I could just see my scars peaking out from beneath the fabric of my shirt. "I want to remember."

"You're free to go." Diz said, not looking at me. "Please be careful Luce.." He sounded like he was going to continue with the name, but he didn't. I nodded and pushed myself off of the table. I left Diz's office and made my way to… I wasn't sure. I stopped somewhere on the third floor. My hand on the banister of the stairs that would lead me straight to the fifth floor, bypassing the fourth completely.

The only thing that was on the fifth floor was Vanitas' room…

I spun around quickly and decided I would go to the dining hall instead. Supper would be underway, and though I didn't eat, it would give me a chance to be around people. Maybe I would be able to breath for a moment. I walked quickly, smacking into the one person I had been unconsciously searching for while rounding a corner. He was without his mask and a shirt. Only jeans hung loosely from his hips… and god were they hips. His body was well built and…

"It's rude to stare." There was a smile on his lips. I looked up quickly, blushing from being caught.

"Why do you dress like this sometimes, but wear your mask other times?" I asked.

"Well, people fear me when I'm behind the mask. They don't know who I am without it. Besides, I enjoy the attention of the ladies when I walk around like this." His words shoved a dagger into my heart, which caused me pain for an unexplained reason. "You'll be seeing a lot of me soon, you should get use to the view."

"Are you happy or mad that I'm staying?" I cocked my head to the side. He sighed.

"Both." His honey eyes brightened for a moment. "Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're wrapped in a pretty package,"

"You've never gone easy on me." I frowned at him. A pained looked crossed his eyes for just a moment.

"I'm not the same guy without the mask and suit," his voice lowered, sending shivers across my skin. He leaned towards me and my heart began beating.

"Luce!" Ven's voice cut through the moment. Vanitas leaned back, a dark look crossed his face.

"I still have many of the same urges though," He growled, as he began turning away. I grabbed his wrist, electricity running through me as I did. Ven was still a distance away and couldn't hear us.

"What should I call you when you don't have the mask on." I tilted my head again. A smile crossed his features.

"Think of something, pup. Make it special.' He pulled out of my grip and put his hands in his pockets. He looked at Ven like a predator dose prey, but right before he slipped around the corner he gave me a wolfish grin that gave me an idea, should anyone ask the identity of my 'mystery friend.'

"Who is that friend of yours again?" Ven said, once he had finally gotten close to me.

"Kam. it's a shortened version of Okami," I grinned at my cleverness.

"Wolf? His name is wolf?" I shook my head as I began walking towards the stairs leading to the dining hall.

"It's a nickname. He is a pretty good hunter, so I call him Wolf." I shrugged.

"Block with your barrier," Vanitas growled as he shot a bolt of darkness at me. It was early in the morning. Too early, even, for the sun to be up. No one else was outside, which was good. Vanitas was rough when he lost his temper.

"Give me time!" I growled back, rolling out of the way of his attack. I had been training with him for a week and I had only summoned the barrier twice in his presence, both times I had been completely surprised and scared for my life. Within that week I had spent more time with Vanitas than I had anyone else.

"You don't need time," He yelled, flinging something bright and powerful at me. It was coming fast, and I couldn't dodge it…

The barrier appeared, deflecting the blow easily. Vanitas grinned at me.

He actually grinned at me. I fell back on the grass, exhausted.

"Can we call it a day, my bed is calling me." I groaned. We had been working at this for three hours… nonstop. I thought I heard him mumble something about his bed, but I didn't quite catch it as he drank his water.

"Yeah, you might as well crawl back into bed with Aqua," He gave me a wolfish grin as I wiped the perspiration off my skin. I threw my towel at him. He acted like a different person without the mask on.

"Stupid Okami," I said, standing. I felt faint, but forced myself to act like I was fine. If he thought I was weak he might force me to train some more. Name calling earned me another grin after an odd look.

"Hurry before I change my mind."

"Make me," I played. His eyes darkened for a moment before he turned away. I shrugged and began walking towards the entrance. I soon found myself holding onto the wall for support before I could even make it to the steps.

Warm, strong hands gripped me and turned me around until my back was touching the wall. Vanitas was pinning me against the wall, one arm on either side of me. I remember when this would bring fear to me.

I wasn't sure if it was the light headedness or how we'd slowly grown a bit closer together within the week of early training but I wasn't worried. My heart was pounding for a different reason this morning.

Why didn't I know why it was?

Vanitas placed a calloused fingertip to my visible collar bone, where my bite was still healing the old fashioned way, and his magic began seeping into me. He was more proficient in healing magic than Diz was, but no one in the castle knew this little fact. No one but me. His breathing was heavy, and I realized that, though I had dodged a lot of his attacks, he had spent quite a bit of energy creating those attacks. I wonder how much energy was put into the last one.

He leaned his head against mine, closing his eyes for a moment, sweat dripping down his skin despite the cool weather. HIs finger slipped from my collarbone and down the center of my torso. He opened his eyes, his pupils dilating, and the honey color of his irises mixing in the fascinating way that turned them bright yellow, brighter than that of Lord Ansem. His lips trembled as if he wanted to speak, but suddenly he was standing upright, backing away from me.

"I'll see you around," His voice was deep. I nodded, confused by the swirling inside of me. I took a deep breath and made my way to my room. I now had my own since I had to wake up so early. I had petitioned for it out of courtesy for Aqua. She seemed sad to see me move out, but I still wake up for breakfast most mornings, despite not needing to eat so that I could see her and my other two friends.

Should I consider Vanitas a friend? My mind wandered as I stepped into my bathroom and turned on the shower. He was odd, he didn't seem to take to people, even when his mask was off, which was more and more often now, he was somewhat of a loner.

He was fairly attractive.

Extremely well built, with lean muscles and battle scars that reminded me of my own scars.

I could easily get lost in those deep honey eyes.

I shook my head and began washing my hair as the water ran down my exhausted body. I was too tired to wake up for breakfast. This would be the third morning in a row. Once finished with my hair I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a fresh towel. Did I really wanna bother with clothes? My body was beginning to ache from how often I actually dodge instead of using my fear as a switch to turn on the power inside of me that wants to push itself out anyway. I wonder what's hindering it?

I groaned and dried my body before wrapping the towel around my head and slipping on underwear and a large shirt. I flopped onto the bed, not concerned with the fact that the towel was still wrapped around my head, but was now loosened due to the jostling movement of landing on my bed. I closed my eyes and seemed to drift off to sleep immediately.

Pounding on my door caused me to jump.

Me jumping caused me to tumble off the edge of my bed.

I landed on the floor with a loud thud. I groaned and grumbled as I forced myself to stand and made my way to the door. I opened it up without even checking my appearance.

"He Luce I… Did I wake up?" Ven's smile slowly spread across his face. I remembered falling asleep with wet hair and I could feel my face pale. "Hey, it doesn't look that bad." Ven laughed. I slammed the door in his face and ran to the bathroom.

My short black hair, which had been growing rather quickly since I started trying to use my powers (It was already to my shoulders) was sticking out in all directions. I frowned and grabbed my brush. It took ten minutes to get it to lay flat, but once I managed to get it there, it didn't move. I slowly made my way back to the door and opened it again. Ven's smile was much bigger this time.

"Let's start this again, shall we?" He asked, his blue eyes sparkling. I nodded. "Good morning Luce, I apologize for waking you so early, but I had a rather important question to ask of you," suddenly he looked very nervous.

"Well, ask your question," I said after a few moments of silence. He nodded and looked me directly in the eyes. His pupils dilated as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he asked. A shadow passed through his eyes as I stepped back from him.

"This was… unexpected," I said. But thinking back to how close he often tried to get to me I guess that was a lie. "Yes, Ven. I will go on a date with you," I smiled. The shadow lingered for a moment longer before his eyes lit up again and a grin was dominating his facial features once again.

"Is tonight fine with you?" He asked, giddy.

"It's perfect," I said, leaning on my door frame. Like any other time Ven and I are alone, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Someone was watching me, constantly. I really wanted to know who, and how. I looked around for a moment. There was no one nearby, passing by, and there were no dark corners someone could be hiding in or using magic to spy on us…

Maybe I was being paranoid. I doubt Ven even felt the same things I did. Maybe if he said he felt it I would feel less crazy.

"I'll come get you around six," he smiled and turned around quickly, obviously nervous. I smiled too, but it was a small smile. I wasn't sure what I felt for him, but it wasn't very strong. I shut my door and walked back to my bed yawning.

"Maybe it'll grow," I said as I laid back down. My eyes moved to the nightstand next to my bed. I still had Vanitas' encyclopedia and the wilted rose I had found bookmarking the page I needed. My bite itched for a second and I shrugged, closing my eyes.

Another banging noise on my door.

My eyes shot open, my first thought being, I slept through the day and now I'm late for the first date that I will remember, but as I realized how light it was outside I relaxed and climbed out of bed. I patted my hair really quickly to make sure it wasn't sticking out all over the place before opening the door.

Vanitas stood there, looking extremely attractive with his spiky hair more disheveled than usual. His honey eyes were wider than normal.

He looked so vulnerable.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, suddenly worried. Vanitas was the opposite of vulnerable at all times.

"Tell me it's a lie and that you're not going on that date tonight."

"I am going on the date." I frowned.

"You're making a big mistake." was all he said before he walked away. I was speechless and soon I found myself pacing, not knowing how to take this. Vanitas was odd, distanced, cold, and cruel with others, but he almost seemed warm at times with me. I sighed, checking the time. It was noon. I sat in the middle of the floor, pushing all thoughts of boys away from me as I did. Everyday I tried focusing on the power I had, trying to coax it to come out. Diz had once told me to hide it, and looked dismayed when I was recruited to be a soldier. Even though I did try when out training with Vanitas, I didn't want to really put effort into it. I didn't want to do more than was necessary in front of anyone.

I don't rightly know why I wanted to hide it, but I did. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

Safe, I thought the word and the barrier formed around me in a perfect half bubble. It was thin at first but soon it became thick, blocking out all light around me. But, regardless of how thick it became I could still clearly see everything on the other side. I wasn't sure what people could see if they were trying to look at me. I could only hope it wasn't transparent both ways. I took another deep breath and focused on my memory, trying to remember the bolts of darkness Vanitas had thrown at me. I opened my hands and faced them palm up on my knees I thought about the absence of warmth as they shot past me, how silent each attack had been. I closed my eyes and thought about how light was absorbed into each bolt, how it devoured everything around it until it found it's target.

I opened my eyes to see a small black orb in my hand. I brought it up to my face, examining it. Everything around it seemed to bend inward, being pulled into the center of the orb. I smiled at it and clasped my hand around it, making it dissolve into my skin. So much work would need to be done so that I could catch up to Vanitas.

Six o'clock. I was wearing a long flowing skirt and a nice blouse. All black. The dark colors made me feel more comfortable. I was starting to feel iffy about this date after thinking about what Vanitas had said before he stormed off.

You're going to regret this. I frowned. A knock at my door told me than Ven was here. I stood, my flowing skirt swishing as I moved. I opened the door to see him looking at the wall intently.

"Hello there," I smiled. He smiled as he looked at me… and his eyes began raking up and down my body, growing a darker shade of blue as they traveled. I swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat.

"Hello, Miss Luce. Since you don't eat I figured we could go out to one of the gardens and look at the stars." He offered me his arm and I took it. He was wearing a button up shirt and dark pants. Yes, he looked more dressy than normal, but something about this felt odd. I followed him about the castle as he talked about training and a few of the teachers he had. All female. I simply nodded and said few words. My heart was clenching as we got closer to the garden at the front of the castle. Why was I freaking out about this? There is no reason for it.

"Here we are!" Ven grinned as we stopped in front of a well-lit picnic in a clear area of a beautiful flower garden. The fountain must have been warmed because water was running instead of being frozen over by ice.

"It's very beautiful." I smiled. There was a blanket spread across the grass and a small picnic basket set next to it. He lead me to the blanket and I sat down, looking around the sparsely lit garden. Hallow bastion was a beautiful castle and the grounds were lit with tiny floating orbs that reminded me of fireflies. They sent pale light to the things that were directly around them, but we're dim enough to keep most of the natural darkness. Ven sat next to me and opened the basket, bringing out two glasses and some wine.

"I know you don't eat, but maybe you'll like this," he said, uncorking the bottle and pouring the deep red liquid into the cups. It looked like blood, and soon my throat was tightening and my mouth was watering. I nodded as he offered me a glass. I was scared to try it, so instead of drinking it I looked up at the sky, my eyes finding patterns in the stars.

"They say there are other worlds out there, far away from ours. One day, I wouldn't mind seeing one," Ven whispered as he sipped his wine. He looked older than usual, the dim light casting odd shadows across his features.

"That sounds adventurous," I smiled and sipped the wine. It was tart and immediately brought a flush to my cheeks. The taste wasn't completely I pleasing and my stomach didn't argue with me about it.

Soon I had finished three glasses of wine while Ven was explaining different constellations up in the sky. Even though it was pleasant and Ven was being a complete gentleman, I couldn't help but feel like something was off about tonight. Without warning a darkness took over my vision.

Scattered memories of the night flitted past my closed eyelids. Ven kissed me, we walked, more like stumbled, up to my bedroom. The kissing intensified, leaving me more lightheaded than the drink. Soon I was unbuttoning his shirt and then...

Nothing.

There was nothing.

I sat up quickly, taking inventory of myself. My black hair was a mess and a bit longer than when it had been cut, my head was pounding furiously and my mouth was dry and cottony. My body was sore in weird places. I had a dark purple bruise on my upper inner thigh, but all of my clothing was on. I climbed out of bed and checked the time, it was 4 o'clock in the morning. I was late for training. I threw off my clothing and found thick pants that would still allow me to move flexibly. I grabbed a t-shirt and slipped on my boots as I ran out of my room, still dressing. I took the stairs three at a time, almost missing my footing on some. I ran harder than ever before, my heartbeat pounding in my head and my breathing shallow as I pushed harder and harder. I threw open the large doors to the training grounds as a knife flew barely overhead, landing directly in the center of the hallow bastion coat of arms hanging on the wall behind me. Vanitas was in his mask, another knife in his hands. He tossed it up in the air and caught it by the tip of the blade, then repeated and caught it by the handle. I couldn't read his face as he did this over and over again, never dropping the knife. Fear trickled through my veins as he dashed toward me without warning, knife in hand.

I held my ground and threw up my barrier, not even thinking about it. I was calm on the outside, but inside my stomach was clenching and I felt like I was going to faint.

'Do not let him know you're afraid or he'll kill you' my inner self warned. Vanitas's attack bounced harmlessly off of the barrier, his knife smoking where it had made contact.

"You've gotten so much stronger in one night." His voice was emotionless, but cold. "Maybe I should let you screw around with the boy after all." His words were mean, trying to entice a reaction from me and break my concentration. I took a deep breath, wishing the barrier away.

"I practiced before leaving for the date," I said just as emotionlessly. Our practices use to be more fun than this... What did I do wrong? Was it me going out with Ven last night, or did I do something to anger him. Vanitas's emotions and reactions were always so volitile.

"Then maybe it's time we move onto something a little more challenging then," Vanitas threw the dagger down into the dirt and surged forward again. I did not have enough time to throw up a barrier. His fist snaked forward and my body dodged it, my swirling inner emotions began calming as he fell into a serious of short jabs that I carefully dodged.

My back hit the wall and I froze. His fist came aiming straight for my face and I didn't have enough time to move out of the way. I closed my eyes, anticipating the strike.

After a few long moments of nothingness and a loud ringing in my ears Vanitas spoke, his voice a deep growl.

"Look at me," I did. I opened my eyes to see his mask gone, his deep honey eyes burning a bright yellow gold and hit black hair was more disheveled than it should have been. It looked like he didn't sleep at all last night as I studied the dark circles under his eyes. He was close to me, each of his hands were against the wall, one on either side of my, caging me in and making me feel helpless. "I saw everything he did to you last night, under the stars, in complete view of my window. From the dazed look in your eyes I can assume you don't remember?" His voice was deep and gutteral, his anger tinging the air with electrical sparks.

"He brought me to my room," my voice was weak and frail. "We kissed, I woke up fully dressed," my throat was dry as I spoke.

"Ventus's special powers include planting false memories when the mind he's working with is muddled with drink or drugs. Sometimes he uses both." Vanitas leaned in closer, so close that his face and razor sharp teeth were all I could see. "He's good at what he does, and when he's finished with girl he makes them forget him completely."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to grip the wall. His lips were so close to mine, his scent overpowering my nostrils. I could hear the pound of his heart over my own.

"Ventus, my dear sweet little brother, took advantage of you last night." Vanitas didn't wait for anything to sink in. "Should I tell you what he did? First he climbed on top of you," Vanitas grabbed my wrists and pushed me to the ground. He the. Straddled me, his figure looming over me in the pale twilight of morning. "Then he stripped you while you fought him, and boy did you fight." Vanitas grinned wildly as he pulled off my shirt and unbuttoned my pants. "You punched him in the eye, causing it to bruise, so he bit you." A warm thick hand ran over my bruise as Vanitas adjusted his weight so that he was leaning directly over me.

I was turned on by the look in his eyes, frightened by how powerful and strong he was, and confused by last night.

"My least favorite part about last night," his voice was a whisper as the air around us filled with electricity, "is that my little punk of a brother had the gall to kiss you, and act like it was the best thing you've ever experienced." Vanitas's lips were so close to mine. I could just reach up and take them.

I found myself acting without thought as I leaned up and claimed vanitas's lower lip with my teeth. I bit too hard, drawing blood. The taste of blood excited me as I pulled him down onto me and deepened the kiss. A deep growl escaped his throat as his hand began massaging my bruise, causing me pain.

I liked the pain.

I opened my eyes for just a moment to see the thin scars that covered my wrists and arms.

Something pulled in the back of my memory and I screamed.

I was in a room crying, scratches covering my skin. Twitching creature of darkness moved about, their big, yellow eyes showing no emotion as the inched forward. Light from an opened door scared them away and I ran to the legs of the man who stood in the night. It was blinding.

"Daddy, don't throw me away!" I pleaded, tears streaming down my young face. I was three. Only three.

"I'm not throwing you away," his voice was deep. He said my name, but it was lost in my sobbing. "This is a necessary evil if we are ever going to acquire the key to the door. You need to be made of darkness, your heart needs to be in command of it, and for that to work, you have to die." His voice remained warm as he said those words. He pushed my back into the room and once again the creatures were on me, attacking me, their sharp hands were digging into my skin, drawing blood. I screamed and cried as the pain continued until... There was nothing left of me.

I opened my eyes to the bright light of diz's office. I did not flinch this time as I sat up.

"I remembered something." I said coldly, everything felt so cold. Diz stood up immediately and walked towards me.

"What did you remember?" He asked carefully.

"My father threw me into a dark room filled with creatures that seemed to be made of the stuff. They ate me alive." I looked down at my chest where the faintest scar of an insignia resided, right over my heart. It was the only scar on my torso. "I died in that room, I shouldn't be here." I didn't feel anything as I looked up. Dis stood there silently, his eyes studying me as I traced the heart shaped insignia with the very tip of my finger. "I don't know what it means."

"We'll I'm fairly sorry Luce." His voice was tight as he spoke.

"Me too," I slipped off the table and opened the door. Both Ven and Vanitas were sitting outside. Vanitas was out of his armor and without his helmet, Ven looked tired and over worked. I took a moment to study the two. They had some similar features, the like shape of their eyes and their noses, but they were completely different from one another. Ven must not know that Vanitas is his brother, or else he would recognize him.

"Okami, what are you doing here?" I asked quietly. I remembered his anger towards me, how close he had gotten to kissing me. I remember how badly I wanted him and the pain he was giving me. Looking at him now, with his eyes remorseful, I felt something in my chest pull, but I ignored it.

"I was worried about you. I saw how your mentor threw you around and thought I should come check up on you," his voice wavered. I looked over my shoulder to see an amused expression trying to show through Diz's wrappings.

"He was rough, but I enjoyed it." I kept my voice even and looked at hiim squarely. His honey eyes didn't darken like Ven's did whenever he heard or saw something he liked, his eyes brightened and his lips spread into a small smile.

"Rough?" Ven's eyes darkened in a different way, contorting his facial features a bit. "Vanitas had been rough with you?" Ven stood and walked towards me. I should have been afraid of the look his eyes, instead I cocked my head to the side.

"My memories last night are a bit fuzzy, Ven. What happened?" His eyes narrowed at me.

"My, my children. No need to squabble," Master Xehanort's voice cut through the tension. I turned to look at him, and I bowed. This empty feeling inside of me was familiar, and this action felt correct. As I straightened he gave me an approving look. "Luce, once you get in contact with your mentor, inform him you both have a mission to attend to." He eyed Vanitas, but didn't give away his identity. Vaguely I thought it was to keep it hidden from Ven. Why would they hide it?

"Of course, your grace," my voice was cold and robotic, like when I use to speak to Diz.

"You, Luce, I am very interested in how you handle this mission." Master Xehanort's smile was cold and didn't hit his eyes at all.

"I'll go find Vanitas at once." I turned and began walking towards his room. I could hear Master Xehanort questioning Vanitas in a mocking way about who he was. He already knew, so why did he play this game?

I opened the door to Vanitas's room without knocking and crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed. It was cleaner than usual. I waited twenty minutes and then Vanitas walked into the room through a portal made of darkness, one that could be sustained for hours. Only the wielder and few with the gift of eyes could see it…

How did I know that?

"Why does Ven not know who you are?" I asked, tilting my head. Long hairs fell in front of my vision. Vanitas turned to me, his yellow eyes wide.

"Because I died in an experiment created by Diz." He stalked across the room and shut the door, locking it. There was a time my heart would have begun racing, scared of this boy with flip-flopping emotions and the tendency to get violent. I knew I could handle him now.

I also knew that I wanted him.

"But you're here," I tilted my head the other way, studying him.

"I am, but it's due to the power I wield." An orb of darkness formed in his hand without a thought and he squished it.

"The darkness is a part of you, which is why you wield it like an extension of yourself." my voice took on a trance like tone as a memory surfaced. I was a little girl with big hazel eyes and my black hair tied up in a knot. My body was covered in scars, but my torso clear, the burn in the center of it aching as the fabric of my dress moved over it. An older man, whose voice was muffled, was leading me to my garden. He taught me everything Vanitas was attempting to force out of me. I was talented and lithe, good at combat, but I had no emotions. I lived in that garden. That was my home.

"Luce," Vanitas sat next to me, electricity sparking between us.

"I was killed as a young girl," I pulled off my shirt and my fingers traced the mark on my chest. It had been burned into me while I slept, in that time between life and rebirth. it was a heart with vines crossing in an x over the center. Vanitas moved closer, his warm breath floating over my skin as he examined my mark. "I remembered it during practice, the pain brought back the memory."

"You really did lose your memory," his voice wavered as his lips brushed against the soft skin around the mark. I inhaled sharply as he pulled my body against his. "You're like me," His honey eyes were shining bright, yellow tinged on the edges that caused an odd reaction out of me. My chest clenched as Vanitas sounded like a broken child. I ran my hand through his hair as he buried his face in my skin. His eyes skimmed over my wrist and pulled away, grabbing my wrist.

"When did you get these?"

"When I died," I frowned. He pulled me against him, my head hitting his chest, feeling the hammering of his heart as i rested my head there. He was murmuring something, but I couldn't think over the sound of his blood pumping through his veins. My throat constricted and my mouth watered as I continued to listen to his heart.

"Luce…?" He pulled me away from him and looked at me. I looked up at him, my eyes burning. I was so hungry.

"Vanitas," I frowned as the hunger faded quickly. "I'm hungry. Getting too close to people makes me hungry, but with you it lasts a second before the feeling passes." He looked me over. He took a deep breath then nodded.

"I-" he started as a knock erupted on his door.

"You two know you're suppose to be in a meeting with Master Xehanort right now," Terra's voice was on the other side of the door. "You wouldn't wanna keep him waiting." Vanitas growled and handed me my shirt. I pulled it over my head and Vanitas stood, opening a portal that I could clearly see. He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together as we entered the portal. In one second we were in Vanitas's dimly lit room and another we were in a brightly lit room filled with books and scientific work. Lord Xehanort's back was to us, so he didn't see Vanitas let go of my hand.

"You two took a bit too long." He said, mumbling.

"Sorry, sir," Vanitas said, running a hand through his hair. Master Xehanort turned on his heel and walked toward us.

"Close to the beginning of this freeze Diz sent his spy to raid a town. We were successful in instilling fear in the town, but they still have something that I want. I am sending you two to retrieve it. Summon the heartless if you must. Cause them as much pain as possible," Master Xehanort was cold and cruel as he spoke. I nodded, feeling like I had done something like this before.

"We will not fail you," I said, waiting to be dismissed.

"Vanitas, you know what I'm looking for. Go find it with haste. I want it before the night is up."

"Yessir,"Vanitas' voice rang through the empty room.

"Go," we were ordered, and we left through a portal, the same way we got here. We were back in Vanitas's room. I was slammed against the wall, hot lips attacking mine. This was out preamble, and it tasted so good. I could still taste the blood on his lip from earlier and it fueled me to push myself against his warm imposing body. We moved from the wall to his bed and I could feel him wanting me.

My body was begging to be touched, but his hands stayed firmly on the bed, one on either side of me. Slowly we wound down, our kissing less furious. Inside I was heating up, building up a need I had never before had filled. When our lips broke contact he looked down at me, his yellow eyes glowing.

"Your eyes change just like mine," He smiled, kissing my cheek. his lips moved down to my neck and his teeth nibbled at my collarbone, right over where I had a crescent scar from someone biting me in my sleep.

"How odd it is that we're so alike," I looked into his eyes. He was vulnerable right now. He was words away from breaking, and I had no idea how he got that way. Was he trying to open up to me, was he…

I shook my head and gave him a pointed look. "We have things to do."

"Yeah, like each other," he growled.

"I'm not even sure I like you enough for that," I said honestly. Everything was moving so fast with him, and he was so hot and cold I didn't know how he would act during. Just like I didn't know how he was going to react to my words.

He climbed off of me and began searching his room for his suit. He began getting undressed without warning and stripped down to nothing but his boxers. He pulled on his suit and zipped up the front. All he was missing was his helmet. He already seemed so much colder in that uniform. I frowned and got off of the bed, trying to straighten my hair out.

"Are you getting upset because I told the truth?"

"Yes and no. You're right, we have to go. We have tonight to get this done, and I want to make sure we can get this done without distraction." He wouldn't look towards me as he put on his helmet and opened another portal. I walked through, no waiting for him. We were in Diz's lab, only now it was empty of Diz and there was a uniform similar to Vanitas's laying across a table. It was a dark grey color with silver weaved into the fabric in intricate swirling designs.

"That looks too flashy." Vanitas's mumbled as he picked up the edge of the suit. The silver shimmered in the fluorescent lighting.

"What's it for?" I tilted my head, my heart beat increasing as I stepped closer to Vanitas. Even though I didn't know how I felt about him, my body sure as hell did. My body was craving him to touch me in any way.

"You," Vanitas didn't face me at all, but I could feel his honey eyes on me from the other side of the helmet. "The second you displayed magic Master Xehanort decided you would be on my squad, and we're elites. There are three of us, as of now." He handed me the suit and turned to face the wall. I took that as a hint to get dressed. I pulled my shirt off over my head and unbuckled my pants. As I began sliding them down I felt a little light headed and fell over, hitting the ground with my ass hard. I bit into my lips as to not make a sound seeing as Vanitas didn't seem to notice. My face turned beat red as I got down into my underwear. I stood up and began pulling on the suit. It had shoes built into it and god was it skin tight. I struggled to pull the suit up to my thighs when Vanitas turned around and made an exasperated noise.

"What?" I groaned, continuing to pull at the suit.

"You," there was uncharacteristic warmth in his voice as he walked towards me. I bit into my lip again as his fingers trailed down my exposed skin until he firmly gripped the suit and pulled the back up, I pushed my arms through the sleeves and he ran his fingers up my spine, causing me to stand up completely straight. The suit slid up my body easily now. Vanitas ran his fingers over the suit until he found the zipper on my inner thigh. Slowly he zipped it up, and for some reason I imagined his looking up at me with his honey eyes, a smirk on his lips, his eyes brightening as his fingers got closer and closer to my breasts. I shook my head as the thought flitted away. Once he had it completely zipped up he stepped back. "If you ever need me to get you out of it, just let me know." I smiled at him.

"Do I get a super cool helmet too?" I asked, moving over to a mirror to look over the suit. It was incredibly form fitting, with a short frilly skirt around my wait. The silver material shimmered as I moved, and I frowned. It was going to be fairly showy and distracting. I turned around to examine the back. Silver wings were etched into the back of the uniform and the skirt barely fell over my ass. It was extremely useless.

"Sure thing." He brought the helmet to me and I took it gingerly. It was lighter than I expected it to be.

"So, who's the third member of your squad, and are they coming with us." I looked down at the helmet.

"You'll learn soon enough, and no. It's just us." I nodded and pulled the helmet on. Electronics on the inside whirred to life as I pulled it over my hair. It was less snug than I had expected and once firmly on it vacuumed all of my hair into the back of the helmet so that it could connect to my suit. There was a screen on the inside of my helmet that allowed me to view the outside world. There were sidebars that documented the suits health and my vital signs.

"Lead the way," I said, fearing an echo of my voice.

"Always the follower." Vanitas seemed warmer behind his tinted hood. I simply shrugged and waited for his portal to appear. The darkness of it was familiar and calming, and as I walked into it behind him I had a faint memory flit across the back of my mind.

I was teleporting to the garden this way. I was hungry, always hungry, but food never filled me the right way. My skin clung to my bones in an unhealthy way.. in the way I had woke up. I was frail and weak, driven forward only by the call of my master and the dark magic that was inside of me.

-come- his call rang, so I opened another portal. I stepped into the darkness without fear. The absence of heat and light soothed my aching body.

I was back in reality before I could get to the end of the memory because I was being pressed against a tree with rough bark. We were on the outskirts of a town that was rebuilding. There were men and women all over the place. Groups of children sat close together, sadness on their faces. The sun was shining bright here, it was too warm to be close to Hollow Bastion.

"Where are we?" I whispered, my eyes scanning the town.

"A town on the outskirts of the enemy kingdom. We're looking for someone," Vanitas said. I nodded.

"And what does this someone look like?" I asked, focusing more on the faces of the crowd.

"Red hair, blue eyes, your height and age." Vanitas said, pulling me further into the treeline. "She'll be with two boys. One with silver hair and one with spiky brown hair…" he trailed off for a moment and sighed as my eyes were still searching. "Now that we're not in the castle, I have something I really need to tell you." I looked away from the crowd as Vanitas took off his helmet.

"What do you mean, something you need to tell me?" I asked, tilting my head.

"I already told you about Diz's experiment on me, the one that killed me," he said, his yellow eyes began darkening to his more natural honey color. I nodded. "Well technically I never died because I was never really born… I'm a clone." My blood stopped. Would DIz really do that?

"You don't have to say anything else." I said, my voice catching in my throat.

"I just needed to tell you so you wouldn't be surprised." His voice was suddenly very emotionless, as was his face. He pulled his helmet back on and began walking back towards the edge of the woods. I followed him, staying in the edges of the shadows. Another memory hit me.

I was standing in this exact spot, watching as small and large creatures of flowing darkness attacked helpless citizens. Their eyes were yellow and emotionless. The fed on the hearts of their victims, and this made me jealous. I was hungry, but my master never let me eat.

"I get random flashes of memories." I said quietly. "I'm starting to think I didn't come from some town in the middle of a siege." There was no response. I sighed and began looking through the crowd again. Who was this master I kept referring to in my memories. Why couldn't I remember?

My eyes caught on bright red hair. The girl it belonged to was my height, roughly my body type, maybe without as much muscle. She was playing with a group of children in a small garden. Nearby there were two boys watching over the girl like a hawk. The one with silver hair had a very serious expression on his face as he crossed his arms and began talking to the bright eyed boy next to him. He was thinner than Vanitas, and his eyes and hair color were different, but it was like looking at a double.

"I see her," I said. Her face was obscured by her shoulder length red hair, so all I was really sure of was a girl with red hair tailed by her bodyguards.

"Good. We'll tail them until we can lift her." Vanitas said.

"Why does Master Xehanort need her?" I asked gingerly, not really expecting any kind of information.

"She's part of a key," He said, not facing me. My heart stopped.

'You are the key' echoed in my head. I stayed silent after that. The girl hopped from group of kids to group of kids. Her bodyguards were obvious friends, joking around. They were rarely serious, but the silver haired boy would calm the other. It was interesting, watching Vanitas's facial features laugh and smile so easily.

Close to sunset I finally got a good look at her. She was beautiful, her frame slim, but her body lean from some muscle. Her blue eyes were extremely bright as she smiled. Her face however, haunted me. It was like looking into a reflection after changing hair and eye colors. I was confused and conflicted, emotions swirling inside of me that I was completely unfamiliar with.

Is this how Vanitas felt? Looking at another person who shared your face.

"You okay?" he finally asked as we followed behind them in the shadows cast by the setting sun. I stared at the clouds, focus on the colors shone through them instead of at my emotions.

"Yes." I lied. My voice was even, almost cold. I was glad for the mask. Tears were brimming in my eyes. More confusion welling up as my thoughts began piling up again.

Who was I really?

Why did I share features with this girl?

Why can't I remember?

Due to my muddle thoughts I hadn't noticed Vanitas stop. When I did it was too late, the girls two guards were on top of me, one holding me down while the other held a key like weapon against my throat. Instead of being concerned for my life I was briefly curious as to how sharp it was and how well it could cut. Or how one would acquire that type of blade in the first place.

The boy with silver hair was holding me down while the Vanitas look alike waved his weapon in front of my face. His light blue eyes were hard, but they did not darken.

"You've been following us all day!" His voice was meant to sound menacing, but it didn't. It was boyish and cute. I let out a laugh as I thought of Vanitas speaking this way. Their voices, at least, were nothing alike. He gave a puzzled expression to the boy holding me down. I looked around, scanning the trees for Vanitas. He was no where to be seen. Maybe me being found out was good. It would give him a chance to catch the girl.

"Yes, I have." I rather like that shade of silver your friend has atop his head. I was breifly wondering what it would be like to have such silver hair attached to a head on a pike." My words and voice were cold, and the boy didn't know how to take my response. Good. I felt colder in this suit, more able to make decisions without the annoying tie of emotions that came stringing along with everything.

Is that why Vanitas wears his suit so often? Because it helps him cut his emotions off completely? I would have to ask when I got back.

"Why are you really here?" Silver hair asked. His voice was quite menacing as he growled out the words. "Your kind don't belong here." The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

We were being watched.

"I already told you, I rather enjoy your hair," I threw my head back to look at him and he stiffened. He couldn't see my face, or how much I resembled the girl he so adamantly protected, but he could hear her scream as Vanitas attacked her. They had been distracted by the wrong foe.

"Sora, go!" the boy said as he held me down harder. I don't see why he would do that, I wasn't putting up any form of resistance. His nails dug into my suit. They didn't cut through the fabric, but they did do their best to cut into my skin causing me small flares of pain. "If anything happened to her, I can only hope Master Eraqus doesn't find mercy on you." He growled. It was a sexy sound, but it did nothing for me.

"You should worry less about the punishment befalling my head, and more on the one that will be hung on you. You'll be branded as the two who couldn't protect their charge. How worthless will that make you feel?" He pulled me up to my feet quickly, then he spun me around and pushed me against a tree so hard the air in my lungs escaped in a gasp.

"You're the weaker of the two assassins. How does it make you feel knowing you will die before you could get any of Kairi's blood on your hands?" His eyes were ice cold and angry. I smiled behind my mask.

"As far as I know, we weren't sent here to kill her." I shrugged as he pulled me away from the tree then pushed me back again. The Vanitas look alike was back, tears in his eyes.

"Riku, he got away with her before I had the chance to catch up to them."

Riku pulled me away from the tree and repeatedly slammed me against it until my vision blurred and I was blacking out.

"Let's get this prisoner back to the land of departure." Riku growled as he dropped me on the ground.

Everything was spinning after that.

* * *

**Authors Note!**

**Yay this is the first one! It's pretty obvious that I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I figured I should just get that out of the way because everyone posts that on their stories. Anywhooo so I hope you guys have been enjoying it and don't mind how dark it's been getting! This is actually going to be (at least) a three part story. I decided to start in the darkest of the three kingdoms because that's what sprung the idea to begin writing it in the first place. Once the other parts have been started I'll let you know the story names in case you're interested in learning what's going on there. **

**Okay so I really just wanna say thank you for reading, it means so much to me to be able to put my work up and know at least someone is enjoying it. Leave any feedback if there's anything you're unclear about or if you have a few suggestions on what you would like to maybe see happening. **

**Thanks again 3**

**XOXO**

**ChaosreigN**


	6. Chapter 5

I was in my nightmare garden. But now there was sunlight pouring in through the tree tops. Roses bloomed and flourished all around and the dead tree next to the small pond was alive and blooming with delicate small, white flowers. My growing hair blew in the warm breeze as birds began chirping in the distance.

I didn't like this feeling in my stomach.

I turned around frantically, studying everything until my eyes fell on a pale girl with pale gold hair draped over one shoulder. She was petite, like I was. In fact, we had a lot of similarities. The shape of our eyes and noses, the way our jaws curved. She was slim like me as well, but with less curves. It was obvious from the way she stood, unguarded, that she was hoping there would be no confrontation.

I swallowed the hard lump that was forming in my throat and stepped towards her.

"It is nice to finally talk with you," She smiled, her dark blue eyes lighting up a bit. "My name is Naminé." I stayed silent as she held her book closer to her. It seemed to be a drawing pad of some form, which would explain the pencil behind her ear. She dropped her eyes to the ground after the moments of silence dragged on. "Do you remember your name?"

"No. But there are people who call me Luce." I said finally, crossing my arms. What kind of dream is this?

"This isn't a dream Luce." Naminé said as she opened her eyes again. They had a faint glow to them that dissipated slowly. My blood froze in my veins and a panicked expression hit the girls face. "No, no please listen. You are asleep, but this isn't just a dream. I need to talk to you."

"You can read my mind?" I growled the question. She shook her head.

"I brought you here. In this place, with me in control I can, but in reality it's not possible. I don't have that kind of ability."

"I want you to leave," I said, as everything around me began shimmering and breaking. "Get out of my head."

"Very well…" She closed her eyes and everything faded into nothingness as the darkness took me.

I awoke to a dimly lit room. This suited me. I was chained to a wall with nothing but a thin mat beneath me. A toilet sat in the far corner of the room. Other than these two furnishings it was empty. I sat up slowly, frowning at how weak I felt. How long had I been asleep? When was the last time I was healed. My stomach felt as though it was attempting to eat itself.

I made an audible groan as I moved my neck. It was extremely stiff. My back ached from the thin mattress and the assault Riku had provided me with.

The door to my room opened and too much light was let in, causing me to cower. My heart stopped as Vanitas' familiar frame stepped into the room. A switch was hit and a blinding fluorescent light kicked on, causing my hope to fall. Sora stood where Vanitas should have been.

Why did I feel so cheated?

"You're awake. We thought you would have died from the beating Riku gave you."

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, groaning.

"Two weeks. Without food and water a normal human would have died." He shut the door and stepped deeper into the room. "What are you?' He narrowed his blue eyes at me. Oh how I longed for them to be honey colored.

"I'm not the person to ask." I said. I frowned at him. He had mixed emotions in his eyes and vaguely I remembered how similar to Kairi I looked.

'Well you're the only one to ask, and we need answers." His voice shook. I looked at the small window on the other side of the room and noted that the moon was out. I looked over Sora again. His eyes were lidded from exhaustion and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"You came in here often to watch me sleep, didn't you?" I tilted my head, my dingy hair falling in front of my face. With my hair cut like this I almost could pass for Kairi with dark hair. His face looked hurt for a moment too long before returning to his look of wariness. "I am only useful because of information you think I posses. I'm afraid, however, that I have suffered a bout of amnesia recently and don't even remember my birth name. Try as you may, you won't find your girl by using me."

Sora's face twisted into a look of unhappiness as I lay back down on the mat, stretching as far as I could. They had let me stay in my suit, but my helmet was no where to be seen. The silver shimmered in the bright light as Sora turned and opened the door. He switched off a light before slamming the door shut. The sound echoed in my head for what must have been hours as I waited for something to happen.

The whole time my mind was on Vanitas, Ventus, and my muddled past.

I must have dozed off because I woke with a start as strong hands grabbed my wrists. I mumbled out words as I was slung over someone's shoulder, then threw down onto a chair with little care. Silver hair… Riku… stood in front of me, his face full of anger.

"Where is she?' He growled.

"You're asking the wrong person." I said quietly, trying to wake up. This one was not a gentleman at all. He growled, a deep, primitive sound as he grabbed me by my throat and picked me up off the chair.

"Where is she?" He asked one more time. I shook my head and he dropped me hard onto the unforgiving chair. It was thick and made of various wood and metal pieces. Riku unchained my wrists and shackled them done onto the armrests of the chairs. His hand snaked up to my zipper and unzipped my suit until he could see my collar bone. There was a table of instruments behind me. All of them looked extremely sharp. I didn't feel fear as he picked one of them up. The last time I had felt pain I had remembered something.

"Sora says you lost your memories."

. "I did."

"Well, maybe this can persuade you to remember." he turned around and sliced across my collarbone with a scalpel. The pain was searing and white hot, but no memories bubbled to the surface. Red blood began flowing slowly from the wound, running down my pale skin to soak into the suit. I didn't cry out in pain, instead I stayed silent, studying his face. He was angry, but sickened that he had to play torturer.

I smiled. Well if it sickened him so, how far could I drag this out before he was forced to leave?

He frowned, looking at my wound as it began closing itself up. Blood no longer flowed from it, but the red smear of it stood out against my skin in stark contrast. I was healing myself. I wasn't sure how, but I began concentrating on making my body feel strong again. Two weeks without food had made me close to a skeleton, but no where near as bad as I had been when I woke up in Diz's library for the first time. But this healing made my curves fill out once again. He backed away, no doubt struck by the sudden healing and, with my cheeks full once again, how much I resembled their lost Kairi.

A snarl hit his face as I looked up at Riku, tilting my head slightly so that my hair fell in the way.

"Cut me again Riku." I made my voice soft, successfully sounding similar to Kairi. Our voices weren't the same by any means, but they were both soft and slightly lower pitched.

"Why do you wear her face?" He growled. I sat back and slumped against my chair, frowning.

"I ask myself the same question whenever I'm awake. It's very odd that we share so many similarities. For all I know, someone cloned me. I could be her twin if you changed our hair colors." I bit into my lip. Why did I share my musings with him. Riku dropped the scalpel and ran out of the room, leaving me in the chair. I hit my head back against it, then pulled my hands against my restraints. Earlier I wasn't strong enough to fight back, even if I tried, but now my muscles were back in shape and I was itching to fight. Everything stayed silent as I fought against my restraints until the clicking sounds of heels against the hard stone floor grabbed my attention. A tall man with dark brown hair stepped around the chair, his eyes were a stormy grey/green.

"Riku can't continue with the interrogation, so I'm stepping in to continue. If you cooperate this will hurt a lot less."

"I take it you had no actual ties to Kairi, which is why inflicting pain on me won't bother you." I asked the man as he picked up the dropped scalpel and wiped my blood off on his black sleeve.

"You would be correct." His voice was deep and rough.

"And who will be my torturer-"

"Interrogator"

"this fine evening?" I finished my sentence with a smile.

"You can call me Leon." his face serious as he finally looked headlong at me. My eyes traced the scar running from his forehead to his nose. It was a deep scar that magic would be unable to heal. "Now where should we start," he said, his face a perpetual frown. "Where were you born?"

"I haven't the faintest idea." I said. With lightning fast movements he sliced the scalpel across my skin, causing blood to well to the surface instantly. Something bubbled in the back of my mind as a memory started to surface, but I stuffed it down. I tried healing myself again, but this time the wound closer slower. Whatever power was driving it was weakening.

"What is your name?"

"I don't remember." I said flatly. Another slice from the scalpel, this time it cut deeper. Leon leaned back on his heels, watching as my skin closed up, slower than the time before. He always hit the same spot, deeper and deeper each time. Absently I wondered how deep he could cut when I could no longer heal it when he began his next question.

"What are you?" This time I could not hold the memory back, and when I did not respond another sting of the knife hit me.

"What am I?" I asked my master, my voice was rough.

"You are an experiment." He said, not looking at me. I was young when I asked, but even then I could tell something was wrong.

"Why don't I remember anything?"

"I sealed your human memories away so they would not get in the way of this experiment." His voice began shaking. I payed no attention to it as I looked at the fairytale book on the ground next to me.

"Did I have a family?" I asked, running my fingers over the handpainted picture of the 'happily ever after'.

"Yes, Lucerna, you had a family." the man turned to me, a single tear in his eyes. Weakness, I had thought, as the man stood and wrapped a red scarf around his shoulders. "And now, you will never remember this conversation had happened.

"She's not breathing," Sora's voice was full of worry.

"Good, let the bitch die," Riku answered him.

"If we do that we'll never get any information about Kairi!" Sora exclaimed.

"We're not getting anything as it is." Leon muttered, he was further away from me. I took a deep breath and I could hear someone inhale sharply. I opened my eyes and took survey of my body. The cut on my collarbone had been much much deeper this time. If not healed soon it would scar. My wrists and ankles were unbound and I lay on my mat in the corner of my cell.

I sat up quickly and bolted before I could form another thought. I sprinted past the door efficiently, none of the boys had saw it coming. My strong muscles took me far without complaint and I attempted to remember how to create a portal. This body knew how to do it, but without the memory that was worthless. I passed by guards who immediately began chasing me. I could hear Riku and Sora's muffled cries as they tried to get the guards into some semblance of order. I turned around a corner to stop dead in my tracks. A man with darkly tanned skin and scars across his chest stood in my way. His dark hair was spiked at the top, leaving the bottom to lay around his shoulders. He looked angry, until his eyes fell over my face. He was obviously close to Kairi to elicit this type of reaction, but I was not prepared for the word that escaped his mouth.

"Lucerna?" He gaped as I tried backing away. How did he know me? I didn't have the time to find out. Behind him guards were running up the hall. I already knew what was coming from my side. I flung myself backwards, spinning in the air so that I could turn in the direction I was running. That hallway was free, so I ran with all my might, a portal of darkness appearing in the shadowed corner of it. Vanitas' frame stepped out of it, and I was so close to reaching him when I was pulled back. I watched him stay in the darkness, his finger reaching up to his mask, right above where his lips would be.

'Shh,' I heard the hushed whisper deep in my ear. These people could not see the portal due to their alliance with the light. These people could not see Vanitas standing so calmly in the corner. I didn't know how I felt about that as they began dragging me away. He was calm at the sight of me being held prisoner.

I must be imagining it.

I slept, and dreamt. And in this dream I was alone with the girl who was skin and bones. She whispered to me over and over that I was the key, but this time, I recognized her. She was me. What was locked away inside of me that I would want to tell myself. I am the key, but key to what? Am I in any way the same as Kairi? How are we connected. I watched myself closely. Her cuts and scars stood out prominently against the pale white of her skin. Some were fresh and healing. Some would never heal again. Were these self inflicted? They laces both arms like spider webs.

"I see you're sleeping more often," Naminé said, stepping out from behind a tree. Weak me continued whispering, but as she did she flickered like bad reception on a television until she vanished.

"I don't understand what's going on." I muttered. Studying this girl. She wore the same tattered white dress, carrying the same notebook.

"You weren't meant to." She said finally. Her big dark blue eyes were haunting in her small, pale face. Her hair began curling when it came close to her shoulder, spiraling down to the very tip. "Your master wants to keep you a secret, even now. When it became too dangerous for you to be hidden, he put you in plain sight so no one would suspect you." She frowned. "You were not suppose to come into your powers so quickly, and you were not meant to be here. His plan was terribly flawed."

"And what do you know of it?"

"He created me too." She walked towards the pond and sat. The dead grass beneath her sprung to life, as did everything it touched. Soon the whole garden was alive once more. "He has created a lot of things, some he gave too much free thinking to. There is a war going on right now. One of light, dark, and twilight, and only three true keys exist to stop it. One from each kingdom. Sure there are plenty of keyblade wielders, but they're not the same."

"I'm sorry, back up," I looked at her, puzzlement growing.

"Long ago there was a war amongst those who wield keys as killing instruments. This war lasted many years. Finally, there was a winner who took control of this land, all of it. It included Hallow Bastion, The Land of Departure, which is where you are now, and The World that Never Was, which is where I am. The World that Never Was is a pretty annoying name in my opinion, but it's named that way for it's residence. It's filled with Nobodies, and Nobodies are what happen when Heartless take the souls and hearts of the living. Some of the Nobodies were experiments of our Master. Anyway, this man had three children who split his kingdom. They each went their own ways. They all died off but one, leaving their kingdoms in the hands of others. This one last survivor has.. made keys. He is our master." I nodded, stepping closer to her.

"Who is our master?"

"I can't tell you," she shook her head. "While you're here, telling you this could ruin the rest of his plan." she stood up and walked towards me, bridging the gap. "Just remember, you are the key… Part of the key."

"Are you?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. How could she not be? Kairi is one, according to Master Xehanort, I'm one according to this girl and my subconscious dreams. She looked at the ground.

"I am. But it's complicate. The key is made of equal parts light and darkness. In the twilight, our key is made up of two people, and we don't get along very well."

"You're the light." I said, frowning.

"Yes."

"Kairi is also part of the light." I turned, looking at the center of the pond. "Which leaves me being the dark piece, something I guess I should have already known." I frowned. "What does all of this mean exactly?"

"You'll know once the time is right," She looked down at the ground. "For now, I must go.." She faded away.

"Lucerna," the man's voice called me from my slumber. I opened my eyes to see grey ones looking back at me. His tanned skin was inches from mine as he leaned down to look at me.

"How do you know that name?"

"How did you not until recently?" The man stood. I was in a different room now. My wrist was chained to a bedpost, but enough chain was there to get me a decent distance from this room before it would hinder me. The room was bright and familiar…

"My memory was sealed," The words slipped through. Hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I was being watched by someone.

"It's good to know the truth serum is working." The man said as he began pacing my room. "I do not normally condone torture, but I didn't know who you were and the serum is precious and hard to come by. But now I know who you are, and I cannot allow such a thing to happen to someone to valuable."

"How do you know I am valuable?" I asked, backing into my bed frame. A knock at the door interrupted what the old man was going to say. Sora walked in, frowning as he noticed I was awake.

"There's been another raid. The heartless have taken more lives." He said quickly and quietly.

"They're mounting something big." the man said, playing with his facial hair. "Send as many as we can spare. We must keep the Capitol safe, however. Do not let them near this prisoner." Sora nodded and ran out of the room. The man's eyes regarded me for a few moments before he left the room as well, leaving my question hanging in the air. I sat alone in my room, waiting.

I looked down at my clothes to see that I had been changed into a too white dress with frilly lace flower designs all over it. My collar bones were in view and I frowned at the scar running across my right one. In the center of my chest I could see the faint scar that was the insignia of the heartless.

Heartless. That is what I was. Even though the organ was inside of me, pumping blood through my body it was due to an experiment. I was a heartless in living, breathing form. I looked down at my wrist and imagined myself being pure darkness. The manacle fell through my wrist to the soft down of the bed. In the corner there was just enough shadow to open a portal, and that's exactly what I did. I slid off the bed and walked towards it… Only to stop as a strong hand grabbed my forearm.

"You are to stay here," Vanitas' voice said through his helmet. I turned lightning quick, surprising him.

"I don't want to stay here, I want to go home," I growled, pulling my arm out of his. Without the suit my calm demeanor was gone. I was close to breaking. If they asked me anything at all I would be forthcoming, for more reasons than the serum running through my veins. I was tired despite the amount of sleep I had been getting.

"And where is home?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Where ever you are," my lips quivered as the words came out on their own.

"Well this is rather interesting seeing as you don't know how you even feel about me," He stepped towards me, grabbing both of my wrists. "Maybe we should test this theory of yours," he pushed me back to the bed and suddenly I felt weak. He ripped his helmet off, tossing it to the side.

I wasn't surprised to see his eyes turn yellow. I was surprised to see that it wasn't him.

Ven stood in Vanitas' suit, his normally blue eyes shining a bright yellow that baffled me. Slowly their color shifted to green, then blue. It was so slow that it was still mid change by the time he was bearing over my body.

"I'm upset you would pick him over me," Ventus said, his white teeth looking sharper than normal. "After our romantic evening I thought for sure you would be running to me. After all, we kissed." I thought back to the bruise I had received from that night, of how aching and sore I was in places I had no right to be aching at all.

"You raped me," I tried moving away from him, but i didn't succeed. He was stronger than he looked.

"It's not rape if you enjoyed it, and oh baby did you enjoy it," His smile was twisted with madness. He moved closer to me, his breath mingling with mine. "Now, you will stay here, and do not expect Vanitas to show up and save you, he's very busy with his own princess right now. She's quite a handful," his hand snaked up and wrapped around my breast, "If you know what I mean." I sucked in a breath as my heart sank.

Don't listen to him, I mumbled to myself. He's lying. And even if Vanitas was doing something like that it's none of your business.

Ventus stood and looked down on me, biting into his lip as he smirked.

"Oh the things I would love to do to you in that little dress. I'm afraid, however, that my time has run short. Be sure not to share too many secrets with others." Ventus faded into the darkness and was gone. I lay flat on my bed and took deep breaths as the door opened, Sora walked in a puzzled expression on his face.

"I thought I heard another voice," He said, frowning at me. It took all of my self control not to admit the truth. I lay very still, hoping he didn't notice that I had slipped my restraint.

"I was talking to myself," I finally muttered.

"Right," He looked at me wearily before leaving the room. I took a deep breath and slipped back into my restraint. Slowly, the block Ventus had put on my memories faded as the real events of that night bombarded me, causing me to ball up and cry.

I was dreaming. I know it was a dream because Vanitas was there. He sat on the edge of my bed, his fingers tracing the scar on my collar bone. It would be there for the rest of my life. He was in a white button-up shirt and black pants, his dark hair reflecting the moonlight coming in through a medium sized window next to my bed.

"I miss you," I mumbled, not thinking. It was my dream anyway, and it was true. He was all that was on my mind since I had been taken.

"I blame myself for you getting caught. I delivered Kairi to master Xehanort but didn't return in time to catch you," his fingers danced across my skin and up my neck. I looked up at him, his honey eyes were so sad. I raised my hand to his face and traced his jawline with the tips of my fingers. He felt so real.

"I wasn't paying attention, besides, you completed the mission as required."

"I need you, I feel out of control without you around. I've almost killed Ven twice and I knocked Aqua over a banister for getting in my way," His eyes stared at my new scar. "They've left a mark on you, I want to kill them all."

"I've remembered a lot of things," I whispered, not really concerned about Ven. I actually hoped that Vanitas would kill him.

"Kairi's told us a lot of things… Unwillingly. I never left any marks on her though," He eyes would not move from my scar. Hate caked his face.

"What has she told you?" I asked, moving his face slightly so that he would look at me.

"That Diz took her sisters away, and turned them into monsters to be used against her. After that it was a bunch of nonsense that I didn't care about."

"What were her sister's names?" I asked, looking up at him, my heart clenching. I was afraid of what he might say.

"Naminé was her little sister, and Lucerna was her twin." I pulled my hand away from his face, my eyes starting to water. He leaned down and kissed me, not asking questions. Maybe he already knew. His lips were hard on mine, asking without any true question. I responded, pulling him down onto me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and savored the feeling of him. He completely surrounded me, his scent of darkness and spices filling my nostrils. All I craved was his touch, but of course even in my dreams Vanitas's was temperamental.

He pulled away suddenly and studied me. His honey eyes were huge orbs the bore holes in my skin. I could stare at them for hours with not a single care in the world. Soon his lips were crashing against mine again and he rolled so that I was on top of him. My chained wrist rattled as metal bumped against metal. What an odd detail for a dream to keep, I thought as I continued kissing him, my fingers unbuttoning every button until his shirt lay open and his chest lay bare. I stopped kissing him to admire him. His chest was flawless minus the heartless insignia over his sternum. I ran my fingertips over the scar. I liked the way the raised skin felt in comparison to the smooth skin trapped within the lines.

"I'm rather fond of you," he smiled, looking up at me. I answered with bombarding him with new kisses, more fervent than the last. I pulled at his shirt until it was completely off, then I went to work unbuttoning his pants and unzipping his zipper. When I finally pulled away his eyes were a bright gold that cast a light of their own. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," nodded, short of breath. He wiggled out from beneath me and stood, pulling his pants down until they hit his ankles. Then he stepped out of them with practiced, lithe movements. He grinned a wolfish grin at me before stepping towards the bed and tugging at my restraint. It fell off of me with ease. Talented, deadly fingers made their way delicately around my waist, pulling at the string in the back that kept my dress firmly attached to me. I raised my arms and the dress was pulled over my head.

Vanitas climbed back on top of me and pulled my face into his hands. Our foreheads touched, our eyes locked on one another.

"I want you Luce," his voice was a deep growl.

"I want you too," I mumbled as his fingertips skimmed over my bottom lip. His hands moved. One held up his body while the other snaked beneath me, unstrapping my bra. He pulled it away slowly, his eyes on mine the entire time.

"It's not too late to back out." I shook my head.

"There's no backing out now," I murmured, leaning up and capturing his bottom lip with my teeth. I pulled on it gently, then began sucking on it until a deep growl escaped Vanitas's throat. He pulled his lip out of my mouth and sat completely up, pulling my underwear off. Hunger was in his eyes. My eyes traveled down his mostly bare body to the shadow of his erection. He pulled it out of the hole in his boxers. It looked well proportioned, at least six inches long with a decent girth. He placed one of his fingers in his mouth and smiled as he leaned back over me, using one strong hand to support his weight.

"What are you doing?" I asked as his moistened finger ran up and down my labia, slowly separating the two folds of skin.

"Making sure you're nice and ready, baby girl," he whispered close to my ear as he slowly pushed his finger inside of me. He massaged the inner wall of my vagina, easily finding the little button that began sending spasms through my body. I moaned and he covered my mouth. "Not too loud," he warned.

It was my dream, I should be able to be as loud as I want.

I didn't comment, instead I threw my head back, all noise dying in my throat so I could enjoy the feeling of Vanitas's fingers. Soon he eased another finger in and began moving them back and forth out of sync, causing me to grab the blankets and turn my head to bite into the pillow beneath my head. Each movement sent shivers through my body until the shivers began building and building.

I let go of my pillow to let out a very low, almost inaudible moan. This spread a smile across Vanitas's face as he slowly pulled his fingers out of me. Waves of pleasure continued to take control of my body as he placed one finger in his mouth and sucked on it. He growled as he slowly leaned down and placed the other finger in my mouth.

"Taste how delicious you are," he said, placing the other finger in front of my lips, I complied, his voice mesmerizing. I opened my mouth slowly, letting my tongue lick his finger before sucking it into my mouth. The liquid coating his finger was thick and tasted salty, but somewhat sweet at the same time. Something about it made the walls of my abdomen clench together. Vanitas slowly took his finger from my mouth and began kissing down my body, stopping at my left breast to run over my nipple with the tip of his tongue. prickles of pleasure hit my lower region, though I wasn't sure where they were exactly. He moved to the other and repeated until it was hard. More kisses were given to my skin as I was slowly covered in goosebumps and electricity ran through my veins.

Could I ever do something like this to him? Make him internally scream for more.

Why is my dream so detailed?

My thoughts had taken my focus away from Vanitas, whose tongue was now running up and down my labia until he licked my clitorus, cause sparks of pleasure to jolt me to attention. He began sucking on it as his fingers ran up my body to roll my nipples in his fingers. I threw my head back again as everything began building. He would stop right before it would reach the top and lightly blow over the area with his warm breath. He repeated this over and over three times until finally my fingers tangled themselves in his hair and I pulled him up to me. His lips crashed against mine as he slowly pushed into me.

I wanted to scream from the pleasure.

I wanted to moan from the way I instantly wanted to explode around him.

I wanted to make any audible noise at all, but he pulled all of the breath out of my lungs while he slowly slid out of me. I felt empty as he circled his hips, only the tip of his penis teasing me. I looked into his eyes, my eyes pleading. I could feel him grin against my lips as he pulled back every so slightly and he pushed into me, causing me to inhale sharply. He pulled out and pushed into me again and again as my body clenched, ready to explode.

"Come on baby girl," he leaned down and whispered in my ear. His voice was broken with his hurried breathes as he continued pushing, this time harder and faster than before. "Don't hold it in."

"Only if you don't," I said, my voice airy. I could barely concentrate on breathing as endorphins began flooding my system. I was right on the precipice, so close to falling over the edge.

"Let me hear you moan," he growled, his movements becoming faster. Slowly I did, the sound building in the depths of my throat.

I fell over the edge, plunging straight into darkness as he continued thrusting. I moaned again and he gave one last, hard thrust before collapsing on top of me. Each breath he took was ragged as stars danced in front of my vision and my body began shaking.

"Shh," he gently kissed my lips. "Sleep, you did well." I could feel a grin on his lips as he climbed off of me. As I drifted off to darkness I could feel him slipping a silk gown over my head and my wrist restraint back onto me.

How odd for a dream to catch little details like this.

I rolled over as I could feel his soft lips leaving a trail of kisses down my neck to my collarbone until he pulled away, whispering something.


End file.
